Shit Co-Workers Say
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- 20020
Hide chicken bones around the office. Find a heater and insert.
- see_thru0
Put some left over chicken bits in a sealy bag...
Pop some holes in it to let out the stink...
Tape it under the persons chair or to the back of their desk.- that is the most disgusting smell in existence after it rots... toss in some broccoli for extra measure and hatemonospaced
- Broccoli as a weapon. Interesting....see_thru
- mg330
Did you know that I've seen Office Space probably about 50+ times, only it was only the last time I saw it that I learned that he was actually hypnotized? I just thought he genuinely stopped giving a shit.
- 20020
I have been living "Office Space" life style for many years.
- 20020
I hear this a lot.
- And that bitch needs a mushroom bruise on her forehead.brandon_phillip
- pango0
this thread has potential.
- 20020
Worker A: Hey (myName) can you help me with this?
Me: Sure give me a min, I am trying to get this urgent email out.
Worker A: (myName)?
Me: Hold on a sec.
Worker A: (myName) (myName) (myName)
Me: Dude hold on a sec.
Worker A: (myName) (myName) (myName) (myName) (myName) (myName) (myName) (myName) (myName) (myName) (myName)
Worker B: (myName) Can you help him? Thats annoying.
Worker A: (myName) (myName) (myName) (myName) (myName) (myName) (myName) (myName) (myName) (myName) (myName) (myName) (myName) (myName) (myName) (myName) (myName) (myName) (myName) (myName)
Me: Ok what is it???
Worker B: (myName) I really need that urgent email. Can't you just focus on one thing????
Worker A: I forget what I was going to ask.
- brandon_phillip0
Reply (CC: President)
Hey, looks like you popped in at 10am, carrying a Latte from Starbucks and then spent an hour talking about your new shoes from whereverthefuckfatcuntsshop to every god dam whore in this place. Glad to see you opened your email by noon and then shit the rest of the day away in meetings that really did not need your input.Oh yeah, I got here at 6:30AM, worked out, showered, and still managed to get all my top tasks done before you even thought about FAPing your FUPA. Oh, and guess what, I did more work before you got here than you will ever do in one month.
So if I knock off before you, shut your fucking pie hole or stuff more cake in it.
Signed,
GTD Guy with better things to do than answer to underperforming dregs who are just sitting here collecting a paycheck.(BTW - been there, done that, deleted the email, and went about crushing it like you do. Stay strong against the morons and idiots who believe they are doing their job.)
- holy shit, that's almost the same rant, verbatim, that goes through my head all day long at workmonospaced
- We must all work with similar sets of incompetent idiots.brandon_phillip
- Al_dizzle0
I cant stand rats.
- 74LEO0
tongue punch to the fart box!
- elDoctor0
Reply (CC: President)
Don't sleep tonight.
- BonSeff0
Reply (CC: President)
Hey, looks like you're a cunt.
As a courtesy to folks here, thanks for letting us know you're a cunt.
Signed,
GFYS
- Fax_Benson0
Unless you're a child minder or an air traffic controller or something, that's outrageous.
And what kind of dickhead uses phrases like 'as a courtesy to folks' and 'heads up' and 'normal business hours'?
- fooler0
funny thing is that the people who actually do manage me were aware I had to leave a few hours early so she did actually look like "a fucking tatteltale".
I feel like that Chris Rock skit but i'm a dude working with mostly chicks...
''l told you that bitch crazy.'' You know why?
'Cause every woman's got another woman
at her job that she can't stand.
Women, y'all exaggerate everything.
You turn it into some Dynasty shit, like:
''She's trying to destroy me!''
- CanHasQBN0
kick him in his pussy.
- bulletfactory0
Reply (CC: President)
Hey, looks like you you're sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.
As a courtesy to folks here, the next time I have an off-site meeting discussing new clients during normal business hours, I'll be sure to check with you first.
Signed, Still None of Your Business