Proud dads...
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- eryx3
My 2 year old can name all of the planets, in order. She can also name each planet by sight and even the tell the difference between Neptune and Uranus!
The only problem is that she is constantly naming the planets...
Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune. Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune. Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune. Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune.
All day..
Every day..
..
Still very proud!
- moldero16
My daughters only 10 years old and she's already getting loaded and getting into bar fights. much proud!!
but yeah this is her YouTube channel
99% family friendly, the 1% not- family friendly would be because of this video.- hahahah this is awesome!!mathinc
- subbedprophetone
- awe thanks prophet
I'll tell her, she'll be stoked :)moldero - She's awesome! Subbed. My 7 year old is going to love watching her!Melanie
- SUBBED!pango
- she's great, will pass on to my boy to sub too as he watches Morgz and Norris Nuts and stuff like thatprophetone
- which means that i watch Morgz and Norris Nuts by associationprophetone
- omg Morgz and Morgz' Mum... don't even get me startedprophetone
- Haha awesomeset
- It's also kinda fucked up that 10 year olds are simulating getting drunk and bottling people in bars on VR but hey, we live in a fucked up world.set
- how about Murder? bunch of 10 yrs old are simulating Murder, then tea bagging the corps.pango
- lol " tea bagging the corps" so true.
thanks guys, She noticed the subs, she's super stoked.moldero - funny vid and awesome production skillsmicrokorg
- mg331
And, word of advice for any of you dads or dads-to-be that are prone to losing your cool, shouting, getting pissed off and in those moments forget that you can't reason with your little ones the way you can adults...
make sure you take the time to apologize to them, look each other in the eyes, and acknowledge that you were wrong. Get on their level, not towering over them, and make sure they know you're sorry.
Speaking from occasional experience, most recently this morning when the arguing, thrashing refusing to take off a night-time diaper and put on underwear, don't want to get up and start my routine, want to stay in bed all day don't want to go to school side of my daughter reared it's ugly head this morning.
- her brain is growing, she is pushing society boundaries - be calm and firm, you're not telling her off, you're marking where social boundaries lie.shapesalad
- by social boundaries - I mean, she is learning how far you can push boundaries - simply, why do I have to take a diaper off.shapesalad
- It's you job to calmly mark the boundary, you take a diaper off as if you wear it for a week it's stink, leak and you'll get an infection.shapesalad
- She'll try again to not take it off, so now you show you mean business and this a boundary. So a count down to 5 and it must be off.shapesalad
- You might have to act out what happens when you get to 1 and she hasn't take diaper off. Such as no bed time story etc. Next time, she won't push the issue.shapesalad
- because she's learnt where the boundary is, and how far she can push you.shapesalad
- well.. that's how I've understood it from seeing my nephew grow up. what do I know...shapesalad
- thanks, mg33 ... I'm almost in tears reading this it's that importantmonospaced
- appologiesed to our wee 2yo this afternoon. were meant to be napping after a long long morning and afternoon but she kept fucking about and i was wantin 2 sleepmicrokorg
- i moaned at her a few times and raised my voice too - properly tired and pissed off. But after felt bad about it. she just wanted to play and talk.microkorg
- Nairn0
Whenever we play Bob Marley, which is a little too often in all likelihood, lil'Nairn boogies like a motherfucker.
I'm actually slightly weirded out.
I'm just about superstitious enough to entertain the idea of past lives, and when I see stuff like her trying to dance away, I can't help but think.
- bob marley was the music I played for my kids. never once exposed them to any children's musicGnash
- and this was the ONLY CD that chilled my son enough to sleep:Gnash
- https://is1-ssl.mzst…Gnash
- loool14
we had a birthday recently, time for another pic with the fox from "Little Prince", the movie i love with my little girl who i adore
- mg334
Don't know how many of you parents have ever experienced anything like this, but my 21 month old son had a febrile seizure on Sunday - it's a type of seizure from a fever spiking too high (not necessarily the high temp but how fast it rises).
He was laying on my chest in a chair under a blanket, still tired after his nap. All of a sudden his legs started shaking, I held him up and told my wife and sister in law something's wrong with him, and as soon as I held him up his eyes were rolling back in his head, lips turned purple, face turned blue, foaming at the month, and body shaking uncontrollably. Holy shit it was the most frightening moment I've ever gone through in my life. Sister in law knew he was having a seizure, both she and my wife were frantic. I was frantic calling 911. Not knowing what was happening we were literally thinking he was dying in front of us.
Within a couple minutes he started to come out of it, and the paramedics were there in about eight minutes. Hospital was just down the street, so took him to the emergency room, his temp was nearly 104 and they got it down to 98 within a couple hours. Turned out he had a bad ear infection and just wasn't showing any signs of it bothering him to us. Trying to get the infection to go away, keeping his fever down.
That was the scariest thing I've ever gone through. Any of those aspects of a seizure on their own would be frightening enough, but to watch your child do all those things and have no idea what's going on, I hope I never have to experience that again. It was terrifying.
- omg that would freak me out so bad ... I’m glad he’s in good handsmonospaced
- I had a someting like that happen with our almost one year old today. Major infections in ears and throat. Was almost choking. Now on heavy antibiotics alseep..tank02
- ... and ofcourse hope your kid is feeling better man, what a horrible story.tank02
- yikes! Hope he's better soon.fooler
- Jeez, never heard of that before. Sorry you had to go through that. I'm sure it was scary as fuck for all involved.mathinc
- Thanks everyone. :)mg33
- Wonder what someone 80 years ago would have done. Would they be more tempered from feeling the panic you felt. Having access to 911, more knowledge, and lessdeathboy
- experience "letting it ride" with less concern, or maybe monetary investment. I'm slowly coming to except the "old ways" only having a dog. Pukes a littledeathboy
- lots of panic 400 dollar bill. Not too long ago you just lived through shit. Now such a panic fuck to everything. My chic use to pass out in primary schooldeathboy
- no doctor knew why, you just shrug and go oh well. either live or die. I almost wish the world wasnt so easy and monetized that you could have a harder skindeathboy
- culturally just something i think about. your kids fine, tougher than we have been educated to remember. not the last scare you will have.deathboy
- Deathboy, that was why 'back in the old days' the mortality rates for babies and kids are much higher. And why in lower developed countries a lot of babies ...tank02
- ... die from very harmless disaeses. Do some research man.tank02
- @mg33 This is heartbreaking and horrific! So sorry for the little guy and for you & your family to have gone through this nightmare.Krassy
- Best wishes! Hoping for your boy to never have this happen to him ever again.Krassy
- Jesus. As a dad to a 2 year old myself, I can imagine how terrifying that must have been. Hope he's feeling better man.greyandred
- Holy shit, Scary!! Get well soon little buddy!maquito
- Wow, good to hear he's ok - keep it up!martinadolfsson
- good lord that's awful. Earaches are by far the WORST.stoplying
- tank02 it was just a cultural observation on our behavior and reaction to todays stuff that seems foreign because its first world shitdeathboy
- and hopefully give a little comfort that nothing has really changed just our perceptions of it, or how we choose to fight fear with money.deathboy
- My son had this twice when he was 1,5 years old. It's damn scary but I was prepared: I had it too as a kid, it is hereditary.stewart
- the panic of parent (which you obviously are not) over their child in distress is, in no way imaginable, "first world shit" as you put it.monospaced
- you should stick to politics, where your incoherent ramblings, unsubstantiated assumptions and meaningless anecdotes are more fittingmonospaced
- Our daughter just went through 3 days of ~104 fever, we were scared this might happen and fortunately it didn't. Then the Roseola broke out.ben_
- Hope that's the last of it for your little guy, pretty unnerving. Unless of course you're deathboy, who ain't phased by a seizure.ben_
- aslip15
A hot lap pic from my little guy's rookie season last summer. We're getting pumped for 2019!
- mg333
Oh man... Friday night my wife told me that our daughter learned about diversity at school, and said I wasn’t going to believe how she chose to explain diversity on the ride home in the car.
This is how she explained it. For context, she’s referring to having “leprechaun milkshakes” at school last week, which were green. That’s you need to know...
- Nairn3
Also, pissed off with myself - I accidentally searched Google, whilst logged-in to Gmail, for prams (fuck, they're expensive). So too earlier today did my equally paranoid, internet distrusting partner.
Now Google knows that and who both searched from the same IP address and derived geo-address are partners and have a child.
This after I sent out a 'slightly paranoid' (so said a friend when I sent him a copy in advance to check if I was just being a bit of a dick) email to family and friends, asking them to not post any photos of the bairn and us to facebook, etc. Bairn alone, yes. bairn and us via email or whatever, yes. Facebook, please no.
One friend broke that within minutes though, posting a pic of me holding the little beast to WhatsApp.
Fuckery.
- Oddly, a GoogleCar drove past me earlier today, as I had beloved crotchfruit in a sling, as above. Fuckers.Nairn
- oh dear, best keep an eye out for the childcatcher now he knows where you live...hans_glib
- Pics?raf
- The used stroller market is where to go. Buy used, use gently, then resell for almost exact same price. Still so pumped that you're a dad!stoplying
- tank025
Another try
- mathinc17
And ode to my girls:
I'm going to be coaching my 4 year old twin girls in flag football in a few weeks. I can't wait. These two little monsters have been sharpening their knives (so to speak) against each other since birth. I can't wait to turn them loose on those unsuspecting other kids. When we found out we were having twin girls I pictured them being softer than my son. Turns out that they're the most wild, stubborn, strong and intelligent kids I've ever met. If you tell them they're beautiful they scoff at it and insist that they're strong. They give no fucks about what you want, unless you take away all their stuffed animals, and even then it's 50/50. They wake up at 4:30a every morning and do whatever they want -- we gave up taking turns to watch them in the mornings. The other day I woke to a slice of bread covered in hot sauce and an almost opened bottle of beer -- they made me breakfast. When I come home from work instead of just hugging my leg as I try to get through the door, they hug my legs and try to lift me off the ground (I'm 200+ lbs, they're 35). They won't let you do anything for them unless they've struggled at it for a good while. One broke her leg a year and a half ago after getting hit by a bike their cousin was riding and didn't even wince when they put the IV in her arm. They fart on each other, and they've shit in the yard whilst pretending to be dogs. I never thought having girls would be like this, and it's amazing.
As challenging as they can be, I just can't wait to see what they become.
- +1
When I was in college me and a buddy took a part time job coaching flag football at an elementary school. Super fun, enjoy!BonSeff - I love coaching flag football. I've been coaching my son's teams since he was 3.5yo. Such a blast. I think it's one of the best sports for kids.mathinc
- Glad you did that though. It's amazing how many dads don't offer to coach.mathinc
- I grew up as a twin (fraternal), I know you have your hands full.BonSeff
- Having twins is a really special experience. It's tough, but it's also really interesting. We try to treat them individually, but it's easy to see them as amathinc
- unit. Are you and your twin close?mathinc
- I am also a fraternal twin. Not super close but unconditionally attached for life by a special twin bond.monospaced
- Totally understand that. These two fight like crazy, but the minute one of them gets fucked with.. they come together like Voltron. Pretty rad.mathinc
- My sister and I drifted apart during our 20's into our 30's but came back together once we married and started families.BonSeff
- didn't had to get into all the details, that picture tells everything :) i'm sure about that you don't have to tell them how to
kick bad boys into the balls :)sted - Super close during grade school tho. She had the brains and I had the social skills. we helped each other learn and connect with others.BonSeff
- That's really awesome Bon. Interesting how you both used your natural skills to help each other.mathinc
- Sted, when we found out we were having girls, I thought I had to protect them from boys. Now I worry more for the boys who come into their orbit.mathinc
- you're doing it right, holmesBonSeff
- did you guys do a photoshoot in kabul?
(jokes!)BonSeff - Incredibly happy looking kids man - well done :)pedromendez
- haha. awesome :) you're truly blessed. your family sounds wonderful.Gnash
- Lovely post! I’m not heading to fatherhood, and you would almost make me regret it :)dyspl
- haha thanks!mathinc
- Yep, girls are fierce and often misrepresented or misunderstood. Glad to hear you're not suppressing them from becoming themselves. :)sea_sea
- +1
- Nairn3
Took the bairn outside for the first time today - in my infinite wisdom, I'd bought a hippy wraparound sling thing rather than a typical and tech baby carrier. Once I'd got over how basic it is I'm actually happier with the choice - when I first pulled it out of the box though, I spent a good two minutes swearing at myself, thinking "this is just a fucking piece of fabric! I should've bought the fucking tech carrier".
Anyway.
I wish I'd paid more attention to the TV tropes of "man carrying baby" when I was younger - fucking thing's a pussy magnet. I've never had so many women gaze in my direction so adoringly - the hormones were practically visibly weeping from every pore as they gazed at what I can only assume they imagined as some perfect trinity of Providing Caring-Male Father figure.
Any of you lot still single and are reading this (why are you in this thread? Weirdo) - go out and borrow a baby. Start babysitting, whatever. Go for a walk in some middle class neighbourhood and watch them flock towards you.
It's fucking magic.
- True that. Plus the "secret" head node fathers give to one another.pr2
- They're looking at the babyJaline
- I used to joke to my wife about when I carried my son around nyc that I was passing up blowjobs left and right. Kids are major pussy magnets.monospaced
- Nobody tells you either that your arms and back get super ripped being a dad. You have to carry so much crap.monospaced
- Yes they are looking at baby, but the gazing eye contact is unmistakable. It’s not even as sexual as it is just admiration for the father figure guy maybe.monospaced
- lols you fucking self-obsessed saddoes. they're looking at the baby not you.hans_glib
- lol hans!BonSeff
- ughft. I forget how fucking literal people are on the internet. why do i post this shit?Nairn
- @hans, my wife noticed it most of the time, it’s nothing to do with ego. Plus it’s also just a fun joke. Relax.monospaced
- bogue20
So I went back and found my post from 6 years ago (Page 8). What a ride it has been so far. She was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis at age 2 and we have been managing that ever since. She's doing really well and i am beyond a proud father. I'll update you all again in another decade.
- < Jonibogue
- Godspeed, JoniBonSeff
- Stay strong Joni!OBBTKN
- Jordan Peterson's daughter had similar and got it under control with a very restrictive diet. Maybe worth investigating?monNom
- adorable.utopian
- Thanks monNom Diet is something we definitely focus on (no gluten.. lots of anti-inflammatory foods) That in addition to medication has been really helpful.bogue
- Hey, have you looked in to boron/borax and it's relation to arthritis? If not, please do :)set
- The relation to boron in soil around the world and coinciding arthritis levels is undeniable.set
- Worth a look/try at least!set
- That is great news! It's not easy watching your loved one hurt. Really proud of your brother! Proud of you both.dibec
- interesting set. Just taking a quick look at the search term it seems like they are suggesting boron/borax as a remedy to arthritis, not a cause of?bogue
- bogue, AbbVie is about to release a biological blockbuster called Upadacitinib. Please read about it.maquito
- Thanks Mquito. Just went down that rabbit hole on that. Looks like the clinical trials for kids is in still in the early stagesbogue
- ... Sounds like a huge upgrade to current JAK inhibitors like Humira. My daughter currently uses Enbrelbogue
- ... which has been a much much more positive experience than methotrexate.bogue
- Yes bogue, bodies low on boron are susceptible to arthritis. Countries with low level boron in the soil have far more arthritis. It correlates undeniably!set
- It's very cheap and safe, it's something the human body needs, definitely worth a try.set
- utopian1
The Worst (and Weirdest) Parenting Advice From Every Decade Since the 1900s
1) USE ACID AS NIPPLE CLEANSER
2) A HELD BABY IS A SPOILED BABY
3) IGNORING YOUR CHILD IS THE WAY TO BUILD GOOD, STRONG CHARACTER
4) PUT YOUR BABY IN A CAGE
5) STOP CODDLING BOYS
6) BATHE YOUR BABY THREE TIMES A DAY
7) START SOLID FOODS AT 2 DAYS OLD
8) SEND YOUR DAUGHTER TO CHARM SCHOOL
9) BABIES SLEEP BEST ON THEIR STOMACHS
10) TIME OUTS SHOULD BE SUPER LONG
11) BEAT YOUR BABY WITH A RUBBER HOSE
12) ONLY SICKOS KISS THEIR KID ON THE LIPS
- Nairn28
One more to the club with a little girl, barely three hours old.
Terrifying.
x
- Congrats! Terrifying... yes... exhilarating... yes. Best thing to ever happen to you... yes.slinky
- Big congrats!fadein11
- wow! that's great, i had no idea that was even on the cards. hope mother and daughter are doing well.hans_glib
- :)Gnash
- Ey, I didn't know about this plan yo!! Congrats, enjoy, now starts the best part of your lives, hugs for the mother too!!OBBTKN
- Congrats! Hello no sleep and wonderment.PhanLo
- Thought you brought a little girl to the club on the first read lolpango
- congratulations!monospaced
- OMFG, Nairn reproduced. There ought to have been a law against that.
I kid. ;) Congrats!Continuity - Congratulations Nairn!Bennn
- Congratulations!CALLES
- Huge Congrats!Krassy
- Congrats.
Enjoy the silence as long as you can. :)Longcopylover - Congrats Nairn!Salarrue
- congrats!!!PonyBoy
- congratsrenderedred
- who won the name battle?Gnash
- Congrats!!!dyspl
- Congrats & Welcomedbloc
- Congrats. Welcome to the best part of your life. :)mg33
- :)utopian
- Congrats man!yuekit
- No way! Congratulations old friend :)set
- Nice one! congrats. our new one is 5 weeks and still terrifying ;)microkorg
- congratulations!Bluejam
- nice one Nairn!Fax_Benson
- big congrats buddy :)exador1
- Really happy for you!!stoplying
- bravo! all the best!api
- Thanks all! x
I get the impression I'm never going to sleep well again... .
@gnash - spelling aside, we actually agreed, weirdly!Nairn - sweet :) good health to the three of youGnash
- You’ll sleep well again. In a few months. Hang in there. Take all the time from work you possibly can. It’s worth it.monospaced
- monospaced8
My son — just three weeks after his first birthday — on his mother’s birthday, started walking and said his first word on the same day. Couldn’t be more proud. Now he won’t stop talking and walking everywhere.
- was his first word "Fuck" and second... "Trump"?
:P Happy for you, man.PonyBoy - We are saying his first word is “light.” Other words he said were kinda basic but that one impressed.monospaced
- He says up and down, and dog, but those were not much beyond repeatable grunts. It wasn’t until “light” that it felt legit a word.monospaced
- Now I feel like he’s learning and saying or trying to say several new words a day.monospaced
- wow. "light"?... of all the words. probably one of the largest, yet most simplest.notype
- it's a good, one-syllable word he deemed quite important, and it applies in almost all circumstancesmonospaced
- was his first word "Fuck" and second... "Trump"?
- pr2-8
This happened to me a few days ago:
My wife [bent over the bathroom sink, screaming]: i think the baby is coming!
Me [looking between her legs and praying that it isn't true]: no, just some mucus
I call my brother to come downstairs as we are ready to go to the hospital. He shows up a minute later.
My wife [screaming]: the baby, it's coming!
Me [with a look towards God to keep the baby inside until we reach the hospital]: the head is out! Push!
The water breaks as i'm crouching between her legs.
Me [to my brother]: call the ambulance!
Me [to my wife as the baby's face starts turning blue]: Push!
Another gallon of water comes out soaking my pants completely; baby's shoulder appear too.
Another push and the rest of the baby comes out into my hands. He cries for a moment then stops freaking me out. Is he breathing? Why didn't i waste away my life watching those shit medical TV shows so i could know what to do! 9 months of pregnancy and this child will be lost now? What did they do during the hospital birth of my 1st child? I flip the child upside down tapping his back. Nothing. I insert my finder in his throat. Maybe i see breathing. The baby isn't too blue anymore. What's too blue? My wife, still facing towards the sink, screams to pull the cord with placenta out (future tip: do NOT do it!). The bathroom floor looks as if someone threw a grande into a box of kittens - covered in blood and amniotic fluid - so with support of my brother we move to the bedroom (my 3 year old with babysitter is watching TV in the living room seemingly oblivious to drama). My brother keeps his cool talking to the emergency services which angers me - his calm voice might not present seriousness of this situation. I hear them repeating questions about the address and i start screaming back the answer - i still don't know if the baby is breathing, i need them here ASAP! In the bedroom my wife still standing screams again to pull the cord out. Holding the baby i tug on it - it isn't moving, stuck in there for good. First thing first, lets save the baby! This moment the doula arrives, "the baby is fine" is calls out calmly the moment she enters the room. Moments later the ambulance arrives. We wrap the baby in blankets on mama's chest and wheel her out to the ambulance and head to the hospital...I started taking 35mm pics the moment everything stabilized in the hospital only to discover to my horror on day 3 that the camera is empty. So here is roll "2":
- DUDE!
Amazing!
All the feelz for your wife, you and the little one.monospaced - Your wife is a hero. That is so incredible.monospaced
- just slightly eventful huh? and I though both my children's emergency c-sections were scary and hectic... this is a made for TV story. Congrats, prayers forslinky
- all of your fam.slinky
- oh man, this was intense! :) in the end its all good. when my first one came, it was so cold outside that exactly on that day my car battery stopped working...api
- thanks to car2go we made it in time to the hospital.api
- & congratulations to you and your family!api
- I would probably pass out right there in the bathroom.
Congrats!!zaq - Holy shit! Way to pull through!err
- Congratulations! That was intense even to read.fisheye
- zaq, i'm pretty sure everyone would step up to the occasion - you kinda don't have a choice.pr2
- Why is this downvoted?monospaced
- Lots of 5 year old on the board who don't like to read??pr2
- Holy fuck thats scary! Our second one is due imminently. We had a day to spare between waters breaking and baby coming. But got to hospital about 20 mins...microkorg
- ... before it came. I'm hoping the new one come nice on time like the first and doesnt do a grand dramatic entrance to the world like your new one! lol.microkorg
- I need to remember to take my camera this time ... and make sure the battery is charged and there's an SD card in there ;)microkorg
- My second son was born breached and wasn't breathing, CODEBLUE was yelled out NICU team rushed in and got him breathing. It was the scariest few mins of my lifefooler
- fooler, that's what was my fear that the baby will never start breathing.pr2
- DUDE!
- mg334
Oh kids and their innocence...
This morning while getting ready for soccer practice, out of nowhere my 4 year old daughter said “dad, when am I gonna turn black?” I said “what do you mean?” She said “Selene at school is black, am I gonna turn black too?”
I really love watching these parts of childhood happen.
- Lol, the imagination of a child is fantastic. My 4 year old niece lives in the countryside. She calls buildings "dinosaurs" :)maquito
