girlfriend not supportive?

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  • ali0

    Follow your dreams

    • You don't want to resent people for holding you back.ali
  • mikotondria30

    I'm lucky enough to know what love is, and it isn't trying to get your boyfriend, with whom you don't live or have any children, to not go to a great school to follow their dreams. You're not responsible for the bad lucj that means she's not in a position to either have a full say on it, or go with you. You should go, your life will only fill with more responsibility at this point whatever path you take. Opportunities thin out and realizing this can poison a relationship if it has unwarrentedly take precidence over your life.

    If you really loved this girl enough it wouldn't be an issue - you just wouldn't consider it, let alone post it on here.

  • capn_ron0

    read the first post of this topic. it says a lot about someone who supports the one they love.

    http://www.qbn.com/topics/656895…

  • alouette0

    the girl who truly loves you would support your dreams

  • syst_m0

    Do you live together? no

    You don't really even know someone until you've lived with them. And in your case her 2 kids also.

  • e-pill0

    wow columbia is expensive..

    for all the reasons stated already.. if you do not or have not made any commitment to live together, or at least even have tried it, then i would say that your answer is that much easier to define. it is your life. i dont know what age you are, but i can say i surely miss being in school, which was in the near 20 year mark.. if i can go back and get my masters i would as i dont fully regret not getting it as i just dont have any time today for that..

    moving to nyc, why does it seem to others so crazy?? if its part of your dream for journalism then go for it, not even trying it for the sake of 3 people who are dear to you is a fucking mistake..

    i dont care who they are in the world, if they halt your dreams..

    you do not even live together.. how do your plans even match? her view is the same as my view or anyone else's.. the only view that matters is your own.

    take the chance or live in regrets.. even if you dont get into the program.. come to nyc!!!

    living a life of regrets for others is a scary life.. always wondering what could of been if you made the jump of your life.. its your life, not your life and your woman and her kids..

    unless you lived together, were in a relationship where you were already engaged or even discussing marriage, as when you do get married one day, the worst part of a marriage is one that fails to discuss everything, if she is giving you difficulties on things that arent even part of a marriage, if opening your emotions to each other is seemingly difficult, then i would be scared when that time comes if it did when you do make that commitment with each other, that when you need to discuss things she will fall to this same emotion by getting "crazy" oi.. that is one of the leading things in any marriage that leads towards divorce..

    lack of communication.. you seem to have that exact lack going for you right now.. and the main topic is your goals, your direction, and one that would share it with her family, and she seems very stand offish..

    or maybe she is worried you might be turned by one of our super sexy local nyc latina babes who live near the columbia area.. yes i would lean more towards that..

    she is scared to lose you.. and scared that if she says yes, she is just giving your the ticket to run away..

    im not her.. and im a stranger.. but i ll say.. nyc is waiting for you, and most people i know never got the chance to goto grad school. let alone one of the top schools of its field..

    best of luck, or rather, hit us up when you get to nyc.. we welcome you to our home with open arms.. while san diego chicks keep their arms firmly closed on your escape..

    meh.. NYC CHICKS DESTROY ALL!!

    get one for yourself.. at least they wont hold you back on your goals.. perhaps they would even push you harder to reach them..

    • I'd hate to be in a relationship with youfadein11
    • awe..e-pill
    • ..and here i thought we could eventually move past cyber.. shucks.. fish in the sea..plentye-pill
    • plus +!00 @ super sexy latina!sherm
    • Sexy Latinas from New York just don't sound very sweet to me. They just sound hot.HijoDMaite
  • drgs0

    Everything I know about relationships I have learned on QBN

  • animatedgif0

    Not your kids? Get rid and follow your dreams.

    Plenty more fish in the sea, especially in NY

  • spot130

    Listen "mother fucker", you obviously didn't expect her to come with you or you would have bought four tickets? So, say you'll be friends and head for the apple! *my 2 cents

  • HijoDMaite0

    This thread is getting more cynical by the hour. Thanks for all your advice everyone. I'm purchasing 1 round trip ticket to NYC for Dec 12th through the 16th to check out the city and the school.

    • Good idea, one step at a time. See how she reacts to that, it'll tell you a lot.zarkonite
  • jfletcher0

    If you don't go back to school, will you resent her? I'm lucky my wife has followed me on multiple moves to live some dreams... very lucky.

    The idea that getting engaged will solve the problem worries me. It feels like she wants commitment, but forced engagement won't do anything but be a bit lof a lie.

    The biggest thing I think about when making decisions for my family (just wife, dog, and I) is if she doesn't want to do it, will I resent her. If the answer is yes, then something has to give. Otherwise things won't go very happily.

    • I guess this is part of the reason we have issues. I feel she is not able to stand on her own two feet and it worries me.HijoDMaite
  • autoflavour0

    how old are you and your girlfriend?

  • shellie0

    First, I'm going to assume you guys live together because if you don't -- she's pressuring you to take some really big steps.

    I don't know about the whole having children situation because I don't have any. But, I do have a close friend who's a single mom and she just broke up with her boyfriend that's been around her son for a few years now. I see how that effected the family. I think it's a good thing she ended it sooner rather than later so her son can hurry up and move on, too. In my opinion, if you're dating a single mom and you're in a serious relationship with her and her kids, it seems to me that you owe something to the family by not jerking them around the country. You chose to be with them didn't you? It'd be a different conversation I suppose if you were relocating her and her kids to New York, and you were going to be taking care of her transition, schools for the kids, etc. YOu know kind of being the man of the house.

    On the other hand, my boyfriend chose a very risky line of work, career and aspirations. I knew that when we met 5 years ago. So, we're still happy in that risk together. If I decide to do something that takes us somewhere else now, he kind of owes it to me to be flexible. But, that flexibility and "live on a whim" sensibility is pretty much the glue of our relationship and has been since day one.

    Now, I wonder what everyone else wrote... (reading back now).

    • I respect this. you are right I chose to be with her and this includes her children. All I'm asking for is a little flexibilityHijoDMaite
    • in case I get accepted to Columbia.HijoDMaite
    • If you want her to move with you, and she has a kid, I think it's fair to ask for marriage. Thats a big life change for her + baby.shellie
    • her kid you know? I kind of see where she's coming from. shes saying piss or get off the pot, if you want her to be down.shellie
    • zenmasterfoo had the best advice btw.shellie
  • SunSunSun0

    I've lived in 4 different countries and have followed my girlfriend on 2 major moves. To me it doesn't really need much thought as we want to be together.

    Have you talked to your girlfriend about any future plans she has or how she would like to see her future? It helps to both talk about what you want to get out of life and whether you can work toward it together. It soon becomes pretty clear if you both want really different things.

    Kids do tie you down a bit and she probably still feels dependant on their dad and feels like she has to stick around. You have to decide whether you love her enough to deal with that.

    Follow your dreams man and if you can do it together that is awesome.

    • She wants a family, a strong bond. I do too but I think if there is an opportunity to go to NYC for Journalism I should take it.HijoDMaite
    • take it. I do not necessarily want to stay in NY I just want a couple years in the city.HijoDMaite
    • I think it would be good for my career.HijoDMaite
    • it would be great for your stimulus & your creative growth hopefully your girls follow you..e-pill
  • Hombre_Lobo0

    im not qualified to offer relationship advice, thats a mega difficult decision.

    Are you sure grad school would benefit you and is it worth $60,000? i mean would you be able to charge more due to your extra education, or is it more for self improvement and the quality of the work you will output.

    best of luck HijoDMaite.

  • mcmillions0

    aside from the questionable validity of going to grad school, it sounds like she's expecting things from you that a wife would expect from her husband (and father of her children). keep in mind, you don't feel like your relationship together is at the "marriage" level—that being said, i feel like you should understand that her reaction is a little selfish.

    then again, i know love means rose-colored glasses 24/7, so it's hard to take an objective look at the situation.

  • Glitterati_Duane0

    I say that she's getting stuff twisted. Seeing as she's a girlfriend it's much easier not harder for you to do what you need to do to further your success. Once you get married or engaged then she actually has a say because your lives are then officially intertwined. She has kids so I don't blame her for her reaction, however she can't hold you back because of her situation. As much as it would hurt to leave her and the kids I say do your thing mate. Trust me. Once you get married these opportunities are much harder to pursue.

    • This is her argument, she doesn't feel she has any say because we are not "official" she is right in way.HijoDMaite
  • dMullins0

    I don't think I could be with someone who used being married as an excuse to delay my progress in life. The same progress in life that puts food on the table for her little children that someone else left behind after they left this obviously crazy woman.

  • pr20

    what was here dream before kids showed up? is she still somehow trying to pursue those dreams waitressing to support the family?

  • lowimpakt0

    since when was paying tons of money for school a dream?

    move to paris with her.