Treading water.
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- Stir0
What was the plan for London??
Dreams are what you make them ,expect nothing and you wont get hurt, expect everything and you will do well..
*go me!!
- ********0
"Erm, no, just to show all you urban Londonites what it looks like in a place where you are never more than a mile from an agricultural animal..."
emecks
(Apr 21 05, 05:17)Funny, me and my sister were just the other day talking about it being quite odd not seeing any lambs this spring.
- paraselene0
gawd. i hadn't even thought about that. i grew up with jackalopes and cougars and black bears catching wild salmon right outside my door.
my psyche must be fucked. i can't remember the last time i saw a live, non-human mammal, much less touched one.
not even a pet! i don't know anyone who has a pet!
fuck.
- emecks0
i don't know anyone who has a pet!
fuck.
paraselene
(Apr 21 05, 05:23)I once knew someone who had "pet" crabs...
I certainly didn't want them but ended up getting them all the same.
- ********0
I feel temporary in everything I do, in every place I live. I have no benchmark to measure progress, I have no plan, I know not where I want to be.
I have this feeling that I am always going to be like this.
You know how some people just stayed at home and fitted into something, like they belonged and things fell into place around them? I sometimes wonder what it is like to be like that. Sometimes I feel jealous that they seem so happy with their holiday brochures and ikea sundays, mostly I realise that actually they are dull TV watchers, radio times buyers, non thinkers, John Grisham readers. I think they are smug and detestable car buyers of car magazines, I think they know nothing of originality or creativity, I think they are the 80% drones of consumerism. mindless, soulless idiots.
But then I wonder if this is some form of transference, a defence mechanism of my own subconcious, protecting me in my bubble as I float across the gardens, towards the rose beds thick with thorns.
rasko4
(Apr 21 05, 05:18)Would it not be quite comforting to have such low benchmarks though. To conform. I mean, if you were unaware of what you were and had no interest in understanding your place in the grand scheme of things, it would be easy. Dull, but easy.
- rasko40
quality of life in London is a myth unless you are very wealthy.
Last week I was at a bus stop on tott ct rd, these two old ladies were behind me grumbling about the buses, then about how busy it was (this is the crossroads of ox st at tott ct/chX road) and they actually said "it never used to be this busy, people don't work anymore do they"
I wanted to push them infront of a bus.
- emecks0
I wanted to push them infront of a bus.
rasko4
(Apr 21 05, 05:26)That would've been 20 points.
50 if you'd been able to salvage the zimmers.
- rasko40
exactly skt, it seems a beautifully sedate way to be, life seems so much more simple when you dont think and muddle your brain with questions and ambitions and media fed ideas of succes.
- emecks0
Funny, me and my sister were just the other day talking about it being quite odd not seeing any lambs this spring.
skt
(Apr 21 05, 05:20)I doubt I'll be seeing any either, after all if I'm not paying maintenance I don't get access.
- paraselene0
Would it not be quite comforting to have such low benchmarks though. To conform. I mean, if you were unaware of what you were and had no interest in understanding your place in the grand scheme of things, it would be easy. Dull, but easy.
skt(Apr 21 05, 05:25)
no way, jose. i'd much rather be clever and miserable than dull and happy any day of the week. even if it means the odd granny vs. routemaster casualty.
- ********0
...media fed ideas of succes.
rasko4
(Apr 21 05, 05:28)That I think is starting to cause a lot of problems for people.
Products used to be advertised as products, now lifestyles are advertised and when you don't suddenly have hot girls surrounding you after eating wrigleys extra or drinking bacardi, you feel cheated and left out.
I'm too much of a cynic for that to happen to me on a conscious level, but i'm pretty sure this constant bombardment of lifestyle causes some sort of disillusionment in the subconscious.
As for the people that buy into this idea....
- ********0
no way, jose. i'd much rather be clever and miserable than dull and happy any day of the week. even if it means the odd granny vs. routemaster casualty.
paraselene
(Apr 21 05, 05:34)Ah, but you are stating that, with said intelligence. If the choice was removed and you were unaware....
- ********0
I know what ya mean rasko. On the weekend i had an unexpected visit from a friend from school i hadn't seen or heard from for 3 years. We used to be like the best of pals back then. His girlfriends mum was running the London marathon so he was in town and gave me a random call.
I heard he moved into a house 1 mile from where his parents live with his grilfriend. A mortgage and everything. Next year he's getting married. This girl we both knew from school. And he still knew everyone I used to from that old shit-hole near leeds. Filled me in with all this gossip of all these people i vaguely remember. I took him to Shoreditch for a drink or two, and he kept saying "so many bufty's round here. Why they all go mullets? Fuckin hell, there's a lot of foreigners about the place. Is this your local then?"
I asked him if he ever considered leaving that town. But he said no. His life is there, he likes having all his friends around, and he's getting married. And he has some dull job pushing paper for the council, where he's been working for 4 years. He's 23. I looked at him and thought - i'm glad i'm not you.
Different folks, different strokes i guess.
But seriously, it's all hard. Whether you're stuck in a mundane uninspiring existence where you're trying to forget how temporal everything you value is, or if you're wandering the cold miserable streets of London looking to score some weed.
Your life is how it is because this is the way things were always meant to be.
- Elfangio0
I normally try to think about those million of people that dont even have a house or a job or either something to eat...gosh I am a happy lucky motherfucker!
:P
- ********0
in other words, dull sububan types rarely have these idyllic ignorant-is-bliss lives. They have their own anxieties over their failure to live up to what they themselves value. Which is different to some of us monads.
- paraselene0
pronoia
pronoia
pronoia.
i've said it before, but it bears repeating: it's the only way.
- paraselene0
no way, jose. i'd much rather be clever and miserable than dull and happy any day of the week. even if it means the odd granny vs. routemaster casualty.
paraselene
(Apr 21 05, 05:34)Ah, but you are stating that, with said intelligence. If the choice was removed and you were unaware....
skt(Apr 21 05, 05:36)
i don't even want to consider it. that's the scariest thing i've heard all day!
- Trousermouse0
Move away Jimmy Blue.... London is SHITE. Unless you have a fuckload of cash.
- ********0
Skt. Come to the next NT drinks.
Time for a sunny thursday drink.
Who's up for it?
- paraselene0
me, me! plus, i have to go to brixton anyway tonight to see steven and nadja, so we could do somthing like that!
and i found a fiver in the washing machine last night. result!