gay anti gay?
Out of context: Reply #45
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- gramme0
ascescence & six:
Since I am not gay, I would imagine you'll discount what I'm about to say from a lack of experience. I don't have a degree in psychology, although it has been an interest of mine for years. Take or leave my humble opinion for whatever it's worth.
I maintain that being gay IS a choice. Saying that gay patterns have been witnessed in the animal kingdom – and thus support the genetics of homosexual tendencies in humans – is an incredibly weak argument, because it assumes humans are animals, and that there is sufficient likeness between humans and animals to draw such parallels. I don't see reason from science or psychology to support these supposed likenesses. Humans can reason on complex levels, unlike animals. They have souls, unlike animals.
I think it is possible to have a predilection for homosexuality, just like some people can't seem to look at porn in moderation, some are obsessively clean, some (maybe even most of us in developed countries) are addicted to monetary gain, etc. All of these lifestyle characteristics are choices. They may be deeply ingrained habits and paradigms influenced by our upbringing. Some patterns and habits are so deeply ingrained that only rehabilitation (such as drug addiction or alcoholism, for example) can correct them. One often feels that the choice was never theirs with such deep habits.
Now of course, I don't think being gay really compares well with alcoholism, I was just using that as an example. It is however a person's reaction to events in their lives, almost always events that happen at a very early age, sometimes even earlier than one can remember. It's not necessarily sexual or emotional abuse, although I have known/known of very many gay men and women who were sexually and/or emotionally abused from a young age. Sometimes it happened only once, sometimes it happened for years on end. It is very telling that violence among gay adult men is rampant; sometimes even taken for granted. Such physical abuse often goes unreported for a variety of reasons.
Another scenario I have seen quite a bit, in the lives of gay men at any rate, is the lack of a father figure. Perhaps the dad left early on and the boy never had a man to model himself after. More often, the father is present for at least part of the boy's childhood, but is emotionally absent or abusive. Maybe he even spends a lot of time with his son, but can't express masculine affection.
I know these scenarios may seem like oversimplifications. I know this does not explain the roots of every gay person's lifestyle. Sometimes, guys have great relationships with their fathers, but have awful, embarrassing, traumatic experiences with women (rejection from an early age, etc.) There are so many reasons and factors. But my bottom line is that there is always a REASON why people are gay, and I don't think the reason is ever genetics.
On a side note six, I have a hard time believing that your boyfriend's kids were not traumatized by their father's lifestyle change and the divorce. I have never met a child, even older teen kids, who were not heartbroken by their parents' divorce, regardless of what caused it. In fact, I personally know a family that was broken years ago by a father who left his wife for a man. As I recall, the guy's wife even caught him in the act. It took her many years to overcome the pain. To this day the father's kids, some of whom are older than me, have difficulty talking about it. And regardless of what one believes about such a thing as the gay gene...I don't think the spouse who is left behind could ever fully shake the notion that they "drove their wife or husband to the other side." The attendant shame and heartache is enormous and unavoidable. To paint your boyfriend's scenario as a positive thing seems very twisted and sad to me.
It is unfortunate to hear your dad's outlook on gay people. I would never ever tell my son to avoid gay people, though I would talk to him about the relationships God originally intended for men and women, and why.
I've said about all I can on this subject. I fully expect to get flamed for this, pun somewhat intended. So be it.
- It is a choice, in so far as it's also a choice - to a certain extent - to consume food and drink liquid.********
- I of course disagree, but ultimately it doesn't matter whether it's genetic or not.gramme
- It's a departure from God's original plan, which wasn't to hem us in with restrictions,gramme
- but rather to lead us to the more profound and lasting joys life offers.gramme
- NOT A CHOICE!duckofrubber
- It is a choice, in so far as it's also a choice - to a certain extent - to consume food and drink liquid.