Dad Advice Thread
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- mantrakid15
Number one advice i would ever give to a new dad is to be patient / cool with letting go of / sacrificing your personal desires for a while.
I was not prepared for the amount of attention and selflessness it would require. Sacrificing 'me' time, sleep, emotional states, thought processes, ability to concentrate, time for work, etc etc etc. It was all out the window for quite some time and I found it very hard at first to not get kinda irritated at it all.
I eventually discovered that it was being amplified heavily by a lack of sleep and that as long as I was getting a good amount of sleep no matter where i could get it (slept on the kitchen floor a few times) i usually felt more chill and better prepared to roll with the punches.
I never realized what a total shift in perception would be required. Like everything goes out the window and you're starting fresh, re-evaluating **everything** from the point of view of your new role as a father.
- Sage advice. I find getting some exercise helps too.mandomafioso
- What about becoming a step dad? Recently met someone and her child is really difficult. Glad you’re seeing some positives going forward thoughIanbolton
- sleep yes its all about that early on. my 3yr old finally sleeps through and i am able to feel and do normal things againtrooperbill
- << That was my experience as well.kirshar12
- All of this.monospaced
- My first advice is: Adapt, improvise, overcome. Welcome to your new life. ;)ApeRobot
- 100%
I was not prepared to make the sacrifice and nearly cratered my marriage. Thankfully, I pulled my head out of my arse.ronburgundy - I left my partner and kid abroad, coming back for work. Had hoped I could get some sleep in - last two nights have managed same 3 hour increments :(Nairn
- crazy how that happens, huh? can't even sleep when you shouldmonospaced
- BusterBoy1
Was bored the other night at home...watched a bit of Pornhub. Incognito window...stupidly, accidentally left the window open hidden behind some other browser window. I think my 15 year old son may have stumbled upon it as he often uses my PC. Have never felt so ashamed in my entire life...god knows what he thinks of me right now. :(
- This is a perfect opportunity to have a frank and honest conversation with him about porn. Don’t let this passGnash
- You can turn it aroundGnash
- No idea what to do...BusterBoy
- man oh man :)renderedred
- "research"ok_not_ok
- "my friend sent me a link"bezoar
- perhaps I'm overreacting...think I'll just leave it.BusterBoy
- dude its just pr0n everybody does it, he probably just remembers to close the window/delete history/cacheArchitectofFate
- Virus. Son. This is what computer virus do.pango
- “Son, why have you done this?”futurefood
- my keeps asking me to remove the toolbar and virus stuff on his computer that are 100% coming from shady porn sites.mekk
- That's a good way to get your kid to never use your computer again. Clever.Nairn
- Agree with Gnash here. Try to spin it into an opportunity for him (and you) to learn. If you try to cover it up you'll just continue to feel ashamed.ben_
- *caveat, that depending on the category you were browsing you might be a little fucked. good luck!ben_
- My Dad used to ask me to show him how to clear the internet history, this was back in the IE days before incognito windows. I never thought less of him.mantrakid
- We all gotta wankmantrakid
- No worries.SimonFFM
- just do: https://i.kym-cdn.co…renderedred
- Dude, don't sweat it, remember when we found our dad's porn stash when we were kids? coolest fucking thing in the world!_niko
- My first thought was.. He's probably found a new site to watch now and has now shared it with his buddies. No shame, just an opportunity to have a talk maybe?sea_sea
- blame the dog.pango
- Your son will not think less of you. Don't feel ashamed! We all found our dads collections and everything worked out fine.eryx
- talking opp. agree with the gnash. nothing to be ashamed of. nerve wrecking i'm sure, but good way to spin some good out of it.umbee
- Thanks for the words...BusterBoy
- The big question is what were you watching that he stumbled upon? Anything crazy like hentai bukakke or just some old fashioned, mom-and-pop fucking?elahon
- Incest porn! Lolpango
- If you get a nice looking cup with the logo of Brazzers, you know where it's coming from.Maaku
- mugwart3
Anyone got any tips on how not to fuck up your kid when your divorced?
My kid is suffering and I'm doing all I can for him, he's a fucking trooper but is genuinely sad. I suffer depression and I'm seeing the early stages of it in him. We talk open about 'sadness' but everything is on my shoulders to sort out (ex gives a narcissistic fuck at the best of times). I have no family to help out either.
I brought a Xmas tree and we are spending next week making decorations. Star Wars the following week and I have saved up for some massive Lego set for present. Yet I feel these are only superficial things.
Any tips/pointers.
- (would take him to see help but I dont want him medicated through life and also I'm a struggling with money)mugwart
- That's heavy, so sorry. Only thing I could say is concentrate on the positives. Like Mom and Dad won't yell at each other anymore, Two Xmass, two birthdays.eryx
- My parents divorced after I left but they were miserable together, They should have done it years ago but thought they were doing the best for the kids.eryx
- They were not doing the best for us and they basically lived separate lives in the same house. When they finally got divorced they were both so happy!eryx
- As a product of divorce myself (i was 8) I can say therapy helps. But also, I appreciate that my mother brought a dependable step dad into my life a year later.shellie
- it seemed fast to me when I was younger, but realize as an adult my parents had begun separating when I was in 1st grade. My step dad was the best thing thatshellie
- what you have to do is get the divorce straight with you and the wife and make the progression to your new life as smooth as possible for all of you...uan
- ever happened to me. I would NOT bring women around him that aren't committed for the long haul to co parent with you. People leaving can be traumatic.shellie
- consider getting professional help and advice for this. once you enter 'normal' new life you can just be dad again, just love your kid and be there for him.uan
- I write this, because I think you are trying to compensate the loss for the kid with stuff and even if it might be cool for a moment, you don't fix the problem.uan
- I also think you are having the right instinct by taking time to spend with the kid. that's basically all he needs. most of all he probably misses you.uan
- Thanks all. My new partner is brilliant & brings a lot to the table for him.
I'll see what is around my area for help.
Thanks all you kick arsemugwart - Thats fantastic you have a new partner to help - another voice can be instrumental. Hopefully you get some help man. I went through the same 2 years ago and nowpedromendez
- find that happiness for kids can be found in the smallest things. Finding something they love doing and enjoying that with them is amazing. Keep it up man :)pedromendez
- thanks pedromendez, the best things we do is just wonder around London. Been teaching him how to navigate around the city!mugwart
- There's help without medication. Not all therapists medicate. See one yourself so you keep your head on straight. Love the fuck out of him.jtb26
- Go see something. Movies are good. Wonders of the world are good too. hikes, museums, arcades. You care. things will hold together. <3jtb26
- thanks jtb26. I do all those above. I'll save my pennies and get him to see help.mugwart
- decorations are cool, but learning how to bake cookies is a lifelong skill—make cookies together! :Djaylarson
- All kids really want is your time and attention. Crack that and you're golden. Damn hard though. Good luck.monoboy
- Someone once told me that their parents divorced when they were young. Their mom struggled to keep shit together financially, bought them christmas gifts, etc...Gucci
- but the thing they remembered the most vividly is their mom randomly taking a day off work and taking them for a picnic to the park.Gucci
- As others have said, time and attention. Find moments together and HAVE the fuck out of them.Gucci
- I'm going through a separation. Kills to hear my 3 y/o cry because "she misses daddy". We're all just floating around figuring shit out here together.Gucci
- I'm in the same position, i got a 3 years old son. I don't know how to explain it to him yet. I'll probably do has soon has i know where i'm gonna live next.ApeRobot
- It breaks my heart that i'm not gonna see him everyday....that is worst than the separation itself.ApeRobot
- Don't miss the mum in front of him no matter how bad she is. That way no good lies.detritus
- sorry to hear I'm not alone out there. It sucks. I dont knock the mum in front of him. I'e told him that I'll tell him the truth one day when hes old enough butmugwart
- to realise that I was very sick at his mums place and couldnt take the fighting anymore. That I'm a better father now I can be me. But fuck its heart wrenchingmugwart
- I dropped him off came back and weptmugwart
- Whatever you do, don't talk shit about his mom. Try to keep your relationship with her sane, for the kid. Nothing hurts more than seeing parents hate eachothersea_sea
- I hated my mom for talking shit on my dad, I loved him. Kids aren't marriage counselors.sea_sea
- I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. I would just say to shower your son with love and do things that make you both happy. Bike rides. Play outside.kona
- Go for walks to the park. Or learn a new hobby, like fishing. Maybe take up a painting class together? Anything for the both of you to occupy your timekona
- focusing on the good so your brain won't drown in the bad. Your bad mood and sorrow will project to your son.kona
- For you, I highly recommend the headspace app. If you can't afford the price, message me. I'll send you an apple gift card to pay for it.kona
- I went through a rough patch in 2015 and came a signature away from divorce. We have 3 children. The headspace app will help you find your center,kona
- relax, focus, and overall feel positive and better about things. I still meditate once a day for about 15 minutes. Stay strong buddy.kona
- Thanks kona, really kind of you. I've been trying to do yoga daily. Been helping loads. 3 kids -- that sucks. Hope your okay now.mugwart
- Yeah man, thankfully we were able to work through it and our marriage is better and stronger than ever. Let me know if I can help.kona
- glad it worked out for the bestmugwart
- mugwart8
Be honest, admit your failings to them. Yet teach them to never give up and to have massive life goals. Try to show them your struggles and achievements.
Try and do what you feel is right not social pressures on parenting.
Parenting is fucking hard. I'm a single dad and it's brutal. So if you have any family, use them! Wish I could!
Try not to let history repeat it self. Teach your kids to be raw honest with them selves and how to analyse everything around them. Teach them about habits.
Give kids unlimited hugs, kisses and support. Try to give them some magic which this world seems to be fucking void of. Be it cinema or even the scary house on the 'block'.
Play hide and seek!
- +1Bluejam
- mad props, man!pr2
- This is good stuff. Exudes experience.Cosmodrome
- Im far from perfect though. I have to be more strict than I want as his mums a narcissist.mugwart
- I can't fathom how a single parent does it. I have a great, helpful wife and I still am so worn out that I can barely stay awake from all the stuff we do.lemmy_k
- +1 mugwart, keep i strong mate!!OBBTKN
- nice!dbloc
- +1 here mankona
- wow thanks all. Think I'm a strict dad. Really want to improvemugwart
- Krassy7
- if only they made toys for kids, thanks a lot toys r usjuanluisgarcia
- DIY goodnessdocpoz
- montessori?ArchitectofFate
- my dad made something just like this for my son...he LOVED it ...kept him busy as a toddler, that's for sure...exador1
- #defcon #toddlervillageprophetone
- Someone just told me to make one of these!instrmntl
- Latch boardinstrmntl
- Made one based off this exact picture, my kids really enjoyed it.kirshar12
- this is great, kids would rather play with things they're not supposed to play with. Ours, anyway.ben_
- fooler1
My 6 year old son just started playing Pokemon and Minecraft and has no interest in BMX bikes, skateboards or any other sport.
What have I done wrong????- add a time limitGuyFawkes
- terrorize him at night as a jiggly pufffuturefood
- Act like an elementary bully. Make fun of him playing pokemon.pango
- Or you can start playing pokemon too. It might just kill it for them.pango
- https://ruinmyweek.c…ok_not_ok
- You need to set some VERY clear boundaries early on. Once he knows the rules, he'll be fine.BusterBoy
- minecraft is good for kids, like affordable modern day legos, dat pokémon though gotta goGuyFawkes
- It’s his circle of influence man. What do his friends like to do?HijoDMaite
- Super League Gaming, it’s like esports little league.. then at least he gets to be social learn team work lolBrokenHD
- I hear kids now a day learn programming on Minecraft.pango
- better those two than Fortnite, do not let him near that gameBluejam
- you can learn code on minecraftmugwart
- rasberry pi runs it. he will learn linux and move into hardware with directionmugwart
- my kid went through this now he's a book worm and plays electric guitar. Just talk to him, say way computers are "bad" all the timemugwart
- kids have it shit these days, we had ET, jacko and micheal J fox. These kids have pedos, murder and trump.mugwart
- The best decision I made as a parent was limiting screens to weekends only. That way my kid isn’t distracted from schoolwork and has to be creative to have fun.soundofreason
- He started playing Minecraft from watching me. So we enrolled him in a programming class on Saturdays to which we bike to (around 40min ride each way).soundofreason
- Screen time on weekends is limitless on theory but we always have other activities planned out anyway. We go to the library twice a week...soundofreason
- ... on Fridays we pick out a movie. The Friday night movie is something the whole family looks forward to. He really gets to appreciate it this way.soundofreason
- I would avoid setting a time limit. He won't see that screens are something you can live without and use that shit like a junkie. Waiting for that 4pm fix!!!soundofreason
- Personally think 6 is too young for video games. At that age kids should be developing imagination + motor skills with physical toys/exploring outside.shapesalad
- My nephew is 6 and still into lego and drawing and matchbox cars. If he had a chance to play a video game, that'd be the end of toys and developing imagination.shapesalad
- At least old atari/amiga/dragon32 games were so basic you had to use tonnes of imagination to enjoy them as a kid.shapesalad
- Games today are way too good for kids, so immersive and fun and most concerning: addictive.shapesalad
- I also always get into whatever his interest are, not to discourage him like pango suggested :D but to encourage him into just not being a passive consumer.soundofreason
- Pokemon could be a good way to get into taxonomy and proper evolution. At their age anything is a good learning experience.soundofreason
- As the saying goes "Anything's a dildo if you're brave enough".soundofreason
- Not sure where you are, but you;r elikely just coming out of Winter. Summertime's for BMX and skateboards. Winter's for nerding.
Both are better.detritus - @soundofreason you're the , well, sound of reason!Krassy
- Ya... Don't let me baby sit your kids.pango
- Computer at weekends only.microkorg
- HijoDMaite3
My 16 year old girl is getting ready to apply to colleges. She has, for years, been set on becoming an elementary school teacher. That is fine and all and I have been careful not to discourage her from this decision but seriously, I think always thought she should reconsider. I was happy to hear that her counselor told her this week that he would hate to see her intelligence go to waste, she has always been a straight "A" student, she is ranked #7 in her class. So the counselor convinced her to be open to other careers and she has done that. I am so happy that he said that because it's difficult for me to convince her without her and my wife making me feel like I am "crushing her dreams". Look, I get it know teaching is great, and we need good teachers and all that, but I am just being a realist here. She can do way better.
So now she is looking at what she loves and that is Math. She would also like to open up her own business one day, so she is thinking Math major with minor in Business or double major.
This is what her requirements are up to now:
work with people
work in "happy" environment
different everyday
not a desk jockey
has to go to school near Disneylandlol
we are still looking at options for majors, schools and careers..
so, any advice on how to approach the next few months?
- my parents were/are cunts and drummed so much negativity about my choice into my head I had a break down trying to do what I wanted.mugwart
- That said I'm a dad now and I know how hard it is to be a parent. So I'll go with honesty. Tell her in a very safe/ non judgemental envormentmugwart
- one that does not make her feel defensive and explain your fears and why your feeling like this.mugwart
- Research other ways her brain can be used to "better use". Maybe look into psychiatry for kids etc.mugwart
- Do you know any teachers? Try and get a serous chat with one of the harsh reality of the life of what ever it is.mugwart
- My parents destroyed this part of my life and it has fucked me up every day since. I'm not happy within myself and deeply frustrated. Be nice/ honest and Dad.mugwart
- My 10p!mugwart
- (sorry many posts) be honest if your emotions of the time as well, be human about it. Say your having problems talking/feeling etc.mugwart
- At least she doesn't want to become a designer...fooler
- Teachers get summers and major bank holidays off and can teach into their 60's with a nice pension... name any designer that has it that good.fooler
- ^ Shit! Our parents WERE right to discourage us!ETM
- Show her examples of what other jobs look like. Try for internships, university summer schools, take your daughter to work day, etc.monNom
- I had no interest in graphic design until I got exposed to what a graphic designer actually did. Kids need someone to model on.monNom
- Start a math school. So she can teach at her own schoolCGN
- If your daughter is getting straight A’s ....she knows. Maybe she may choose a different path while in school. Trust her yet give her gentle advice.notype
- My ex-partner, a Bronx HS librarian way back in the day- she was doing very well financially. Comparable to her peers in other areas of HS edu. She loved it.notype
- In Finland they only employ straight A teachers - they have the best education system in the world. She would make a great teacher, and then do something elseSlashPeckham
- The "business" degree seems like a waste to me.section_014
- Have her do a job shadow day as a elem teacher. Spending a whole day with hundreds of those screaming monsters will surely dissuade her, or solidify her passionzombiewoof
- show her some movies with great female professors or about careers in science...uan
- Chartered Accountant, Engineering, Investment banker if your after money.eryx
- nocomply7
For the parents-to-be out there... Learn how to work the carseat in every which way BEFORE the baby arrives.
You don't want to be franticly dealing with it at night, in the hospital drop off zone, with a crying infant and a stressed out mom when both of you haven't slept in 2 days.
We've got #2 coming any day now. Just gave myself a refresher course last night.
- Fuck. 6 weeks to go and I don't even have the car seat yet. Or a car.monospaced
- @mono - get it now. one of the most complex purchases of my life.fadein11
- < actually a GREAT bit of advicemicrokorg
- I just ordered the city mini stroller and the lightest car seat carrier that I could find. 3 weeks until due date. Gonna start practicing this on my in laws carmonospaced
- Hey. Did #2 arrive strong and healthy without issues? Cheers and congrats!monospaced
- +10000 – this is amazing and i had the exact situation in the underground parking zone. No access to signal for a YT video either!DaveO
- Yes, mono! Our second baby boy, Kaleb arrived healthy and happy. He's 5 months old today. Time flies. Thanks for asking.nocomply
- We ended up at 1am, in a blizzard, with a newborn, waiting for an Uber and using the car seat for the first time. Total dad fail. Hahaha.monospaced
- mg335
Get eye-to-eye with your little ones when you need to be stern and authoritative and don't tower over them. Helps for them to see you at eye level and not be domineering when you really need to get them to understand things.
My daughter is almost 3 and I really have to do that often, and tell her "look at my nose, look at my eyes" so I know she's paying attention. I also make sure she says "Yes I understand" when I need to explain something important to her.
There's such a weird balance of being an authority and being a friend and a parent at this age. Hoping to get it right so that it's easy when my son, who is almost 6 months old, is in the 2 - 3 range. AND that we will have taught my daughter good personal discipline so she can help reinforce it with us when he's older.
Also... we've really been working with our daughter on her morning routine. Making sure she understands the order of things in the morning:
1. Wake up.
2. Say "good morning sun!" (it's cute more than anything)
3. Go to the bathroom, take off diaper, put on underwear and get dressed with our help.
4. Sit at her table and eat breakfast, then play a little if there's time before we go.
5. Get shoes on, get coat on, etc.Reinforcing that she's in control of a simple set of tasks is really helping. She was throwing crazy fits a few weeks ago and we really needed to tackle that pretty quick. She seems to feel proud of herself by knowing what she needs to do, and seeing us appreciate that she's doing it.
- makes me cringe when I see middle class parents failing to control bawling frenzies of child-bastardry because they spend too much trying to be 'their friend'.detritus
- "Now Cynthia, you know mummy's very tired, you know this is my me time now, you've already had your... Cynthia - please stop shitting in the aisle. Cynthia?"detritus
- thank youmonospaced
- Just saw this on imgur
https://i.imgur.com/…detritus - @detritus +1PhanLo
- ^ WTF - That's about a kid biting someone else in the store who isn't their parent?mg33
- Just repeating "yes, I understand" without explaining why doesn't mean she understands. She's just telling you what you want to hear.cotton
- ^ At that age, I pivoted away from "I understand" to asking them to repeat what I had said along with me explaining why what is being discussed is important...spadeandheart
- ...to me. In our dynamic, I found myself getting short-tempered when they say they "understand" and then fall short because I wanted to believe...spadeandheart
- ...(a) they truly comprehended my message and (b) I was being an effective communicator even when I was being impatient.spadeandheart
- When I switched to establishing that she heard me, and we'd make time so I'd listen to her, then we'd have a starting point for when either of us fell short.spadeandheart
- Agree on eye-level. I'll sit one stair lower (if we're mid-tantrum) at the start of the convo before moving to eye level. (And "G'morning Sun" is hella cute)spadeandheart
- ^ So you start in the subservient position then move to an equal one? Interesting. I have no issue reminding my children from time to time that his parents areETM
- in charge, even if that is from "dominant" or towering position. I tried this equal level, "do you understand why? stuff when they were young and they did notETM
- really grasp it on the level so many parents *think* they do. I'm sorry. Yelling doesn't work, but you shouldn't need to do that sort of thing merely to takeETM
- control of a discipline issue for a young child either.ETM
- If my kids are out of control upset and we're at home, I sit in the middle of their room...quiet with eyes closed. When they are chaos, my yelling won't restorespadeandheart
- ...it'll just be an admission that I've succumbed to chaos, too. I've fallen into the trap regularly. Each new outburst is an attempt to adjust our course.spadeandheart
- That's not to say that I won't assume a dominant posture. If they aren't in chaos, I get down to eye level, inform them that the next time I address themspadeandheart
- my tone will come from frustration. That my attempts to be clam and reasonable are not being appreciated, and when I become frustrated, I yell. I give them thespadeandheart
- ...opportunity to walk us both back from the edge. Even in striking a dominant posture, I try to hand over the keys so we can all avoid unpleasantness.spadeandheart
- In situations where they're just being pricks, I let them know I respect their desire to make a spectacle of themselves, but that doesn't mean I have to watch..spadeandheart
- ...so I ask them to excuse themselves from the room to go pout or cry elsewhere, or I let them know I'm walking away.spadeandheart
- DaveO6
Me and my wife are living in NY without any parental help, we have two kids and we're literally on our own. Both have busy jobs and she travels internationally once per month to shoot, usually on a different continent. It's hard work.
If you have the opportunity to let your kids spend time with ANY family, do it and take time for yourselves. We have to get on a plane or pay someone hourly if we want time on our own that's not at night, so get over the petty arguments i know people get caught in about family semantics, and just enjoy the fact that the famlily and the kid(s) are likely getting something out of it.
- i share this pain - its hard work to do this without any supporting family/aidmugwart
- I salute you and am here for you!mugwart
- i got the same problem, probably one of the reasons i'm a single dad now.ApeRobot
- ^ yeah, was a major impact on myself and my ex as well. Hang in there DaveO. Any stress go straight to couple counselling - stop any problems as early as possmugwart
- Also to note, if you have a toxic family - do stop that from destroying your life as well. fuck modern life is complex!mugwart
- Only my wife's family is nearby, so my son will be spending time primarily with them, and my family is thousands of miles away. Not ideal but I accept it.monospaced
- It's fine really – just will end up getting harder when the boys get older. Amazing how we earn what i thought was an decent amount of money...DaveO
- ...but with school and childcare its hard to find extra for flight back to England. And moving back to the UK is as scary as staying in the USA!!DaveO
- Thanks for the advice, this is the exactly the reason why I'm not too eager to have kidsmartinadolfsson
- Beeswax0
Were you with your wife during the labor?
I want to be by her side, but I hate seeing her in pain and I'm afraid I might get a bit over excited and annoy her or get mad at doctors.- I can't imagine not being there for her.monospaced
- I was, for both children. I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Fair warning: there will be blood.mg33
- I stood by my ex, even through emergency surgery. On the plus side I got to see her guts! Nothing like zombie films!mugwart
- I was there and cut the cord. It was amazing! 100% you should be there.eryx
- Be there man. 100%.PhanLo
- You will regret it years to come.mugwart
- One of those moments in life you can't afford to miss. Having said that, when my first son was born it was like a scene out of the exorcistBluejam
- I adopted my kids. Trust me....be there. For her. Be there for yourself, and the child you're welcoming. When it comes to family, fuck courtesy.spadeandheart
- When you see her in pain you just get the fuck over it. The docs know what they're doing and she will tell you if you're being a twat. Easy!DaveO
- I was there (M6 in hand...)... for 38 hours the first time and 9 mins for the second.see_thru
- Be there. I literally just went through this. I was worried about the pain. Don't be. She's stronger than realize.skwiotsmith
- Cosmodrome7
Don't ever ask them what they did today (at school, etc.)
Tell them what YOU did at work today.
Not only are they interested, but they'll try and relate and volunteer everything that happened to them in the process.
It's the best.
- dbloc7
HERE’S THE ENTIRE LIST OF EDUCATION COMPANIES OFFERING FREE SUBSCRIPTIONS DUE TO SCHOOL CLOSINGS
- exador14
best advice I could ever give new parents of a newborn would be 'shifts'.
too often, it's the middle of the night, and you hear the crying and you know it's time to either feed, change or something...
same thing always happens..you're dead fucking tired, and it's *poke, -your turn-... ahhh...no did it last time, it's your turn..etc....
we tried that for a week or 3 and realized it was NOT working for us at all.thus, Shift work. it fucking worked.
from the moment I got home from work (say, 5:30 or so) til I went to sleep (say 1-2am) i was on-duty. feeding, changing, rocking, playing whatever...it was all on me. so far so good.
at 1-2 or whatever, I'd put our baby in her crib asleep, and crawl into bed. from that point on, my wife was on duty. so I could get a decent nights sleep and get to work in the morning.this all worked for a variety of reasons. one, I'm a night-owl anyhow...so it was not hardship to stay up til 1am or 1:30 or whatever... 2, it was great that our baby from practically day 1, was 100% used to both of us... none of this 'only wanting one parent, and crying whenever we passed her back and forth etc'
3) and probably most important.... it gave my wife the time she needed to get sleep herself, to go out, to run errands, go to the gym...just GTFO ya dig?... if she's home with the baby all day, she's gonna need to get the hell outa the house for a bit and unwind herself...
plus, she was and is a natural early riser...so goes to sleep pretty early as well.... so she was able to get a ton of sleep herself... say, from 9:30-10 til 2am or whatever...uninterupted...(usual... must longer, as when i put the baby down at 2-ish, she'd sleep for atleast a few hours before waking up...
anyhow, it sure as fuck beats 'who's fucking turn is it' games at 3 or 4 am....
shift work. it fucking works folks :)
- This is the realisation I've come to, but we've got a small flat and despite being a night owl, I'm a poor sleeper, easily roused, and need to be up daytime :\Nairn
- and on top of this, it's good to remember that the 'round the clock care only lasts for a couple of months, and it does get better!monospaced
- Eventually the kids go to bed around 8:30 and sleep until the ass-crack of dawn, and you can have (almost) all the sleep you need again.monospaced
- I was the late shift :)tank02
- Yeah shift work definitely works.microkorg
- through the night i was every shift - knackering. plus doing a full days work #mugtrooperbill
- chukkaphob6
- lolKrassy
- DO IT! and videorecord their reaction!chukkaphob
- lolnotype
- kona8
haha. Great thread.
- If you have a sick infant with a stuffed up nose, take them into a hot shower with you. The steam will loosen their boogers and drain so you don't have to stick that god awful medieval torture booger sucker device up their nose and suck it out. Pro tip: Don't decide to take an actual shower with them as soap makes them slippery little suckers.
- Have a toddler that doesn't like to eat? Turn it into a game where you grab a piece of food with your fork and say 'oh I'm gonna eat it, don't you dare eat this cause I'm gonna eat it' or something to that affect, maybe throw in some swear words, I dunno. But the point is 99% of the time they will grab the food from your fork and eat it. It makes dinner like 10x longer than it has to be but at least they're eating the shitty McDonalds food you bought for them because you're a lazy fuck that won't cook healthy meals.
- If you're trying to potty train a toddler boy, try putting a few pieces of cereal into the bowl and make it a game for them to try and shoot them down Battleship style. This also works for grown men who can't aim for shit.
- nylon6
My daughter is 11 weeks old today.
This is a great thread...
The wind/legs/pumping out the farts is brilliant and works!
Hopefully the crying stops next week at 3 months!
