Taking a 'break' from your gf/bf
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- nylon
So you live together and you decide that you need to take a break...
What does this mean to you?
Someone moves out?
How long for?
Do you have ANY contact whatsoever in that time?Just wondering what you harsh bastards think...
I'd also like to know A/S/L...Thanks
- microkorg0
First thing you should be asking is "are we allowed to see other people while on a break?"
You don't want to be the one not even thinking about it whilst she's away rollin' in the hay.
- e-pill0
was this a commonly shared decision? or was it only one of you that decided for the break and the other has to just follow.
expect your heart to break if you love each other, because the moment one of you sees someone else there is no coming back from that.
not sure your reason for the break.. but the end result wont match your initial reasoning behind it. you will lead a new life, walk a new path and make new lifestyle decisions where your partner is no longer apart of making with you.
so if you expect to get back to how things were, that is a mistake as look where it got you.
either move on or make a common decision to fix your relationship. as i dont see a happy ending for this one. from past experience on this.. life moves on.. and the memory of the relationship is long forgotten.
- < That may not have made nylon laugh.eoin
- er... ha?nylon
- yep spot ondoesnotexist
- chossy0
This means you will be dating someone else in 6 months time.
- locustsloth0
It really all depends on the trigger for the break. Too intense? Not intense enough? Not getting along? Personal stuff going on outside the relationship?
If the true intent is a break, and not a breakup, then be cool like Fonzie, show her that you are there and still very much interested, without being clingy.
If it's not really a break, then there's not much you can do, unless you did something to scare her away that you can make reparations for. It's a relationship version of a nicotine patch. Going cold turkey is too harsh. This incremental dissolution makes the guilt/heartache more endurable
- dMullins0
Use this opportunity to do the things you couldn't selfishly do when in a committed relationship before. Travel. Work til 4am every night. Start learning that new skill. Hookers and cocaine are optional.
- nylon0
Just to make it very clear - there is nothing else going on - period.
No one has said how long they think a break should be here?
2 days? 1 week? 4 weeks?Whilst there is no time scales, she thinks that not seeing each other for the weekend is 'a break' - which I think is insane...
- not seeing eachother for a weekend is called life. when you have one you sometimes don't see each other for a weekend. Go out and do some fun stuff without her.capn_ron
- weekend. Go out and do some fun stuff without her.capn_ron
- My x was like this. couldn't get along without seeing each other everyday. not healthy in my opinion.capn_ron
- locustsloth0
So does that mean, you're the one wanting the break?
i missed the living together part originally, so that makes the break harder to manage. i guess that would entail just not making plans. Not sure how you'd work out not physically seeing each other unless someone has someplace else to go for a week.
But the one who wants the break needs to be the one to go, in that case. You can't say "i need a break, get out". That's just shitty
- moniker0
If you need to take a break, then you're trying too hard.
- dMullins0
Any time I've ever taken a break with a girl, it's been for about a month or so. A weekend isn't long enough to get "space."
- kingsteven0
korg has it. the seeing other people thing is the key.
breaks by their nature require some sort of logical reasoning over emotion. so "yes" often means 'i cant stop you from doing that', and emotional readiness doesn't come in to it. however, it is usually the first person to see someone else that triggers a decision on these things... unless you have some audacious plan involving fucking someone smarter, prettier - calling you ex's bluff and transforming her into some sort of deranged jealous stalker to win her back?
na, just keep your organ in your troosers for the duration.
- robotron3k0
I'm going through that right now. just make space slowly and keep anxiety down to minimum...
- nylon0
She said she needed a break.
She said it would be best for me to go.
I did.
The whole week she has been contacting me.
She basically after two days realised that she couldn't deal with it.
I met up with her last night and she admitted that she couldn't deal with it.
She also told me that there is no way she can do a month break i.e. make a decision...I just find the whole thing fucked up!
- Why are you doing post-op on this? Accept that she can't be without you, move back in and fucklocustsloth
- she's dependent on you. she must be cute as well, pretty girls make graves...robotron3k
- http://data.tumblr.c…e-pill
- duckseason0
Any break, for me, has inevitably lead to a break-up.
“If you love something, set it free; if it comes backs it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was.”
- deathboy0
I've always figured a break was a breakup except you have the opportunity to come back if you couldn't find better. Sort of insurance.
- jacklalane0
I thought a break was a last resort before a permanent breakup. Usually the relationship is in a tailspin when these things are introduced so there must've been some sort of warning signs leading up to this. Good luck.
- hereswhatidid0
You clearly aren't applying the D.E.N.N.I.S. system properly.
- nylon0
Interesting Deathboy... I didn't think of it in that way...
