Apple
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- GeorgesIV-2
aaahh
- utopian2
Apple has bought 2 artificial-intelligence companies in 4 days
http://www.businessinsider.com/a…- Please tell us how this is bad for Apple.monospaced
- bad for humanzyurimon
- ernexbcn2
Apple’s new Magic Keyboard, Magic Mouse 2, and Magic Trackpad 2
- I'd quite like that Trackpad 2... for my PC.detritus
- thx!iCanHazQBN
- ernexbcn1
Important nugget regarding the mouse with built-in batteries and the charging plug underneath the mice:
"2 minutes of charging give 9 hours of mouse usage according to Apple".
- failmonospaced
- How do we expect America to keep up with the global economy if we're expected to take a two minute work-break every 9 hours?!?!?nb
- lolmoldero
- they always.... ALWAYS straight up LIE when it comes to battery life... why do they do that?Miguex
- utopian1
Apple loses patent lawsuit to University of Wisconsin, faces hefty damages.
Apple Inc could be facing up to $862 million in damages after a U.S. jury on Tuesday found the iPhone maker used technology owned by the University of Wisconsin-Madison's licensing arm without permission in chips found in many of its most popular devices.
- https://33.media.tum…omg
- mehhh they can pay uppango
- There is a lot of legal stuff to go through before they can determine if Apple has to pay much at all.monospaced
- I hope they have to pay every last penny the cuntsset
- Of course.monospaced
- they won'tdoesnotexist
- MrAbominable0
new imacs out. my 5yo pb pro is dying and i need a new computer. thinking of veering away from laptop because i don't need a portable.
i "thought" that maybe the new imacs would be a bump over the previous generation but they look pretty identical in specs: ram, storage, speed, monitor. is it just a new processor that's the difference? am i missing anything? last year's model is about 15% less at BestBuy.
- the retina display in entry level models and new peripherals (keyboard, touchpad, mouse) are the innovation.uan
- and I wouldn't buy a non-retina (or high pixel density) screen no more.uan
- I'd be looking at the 4k/5k models so that's covered. I like the new peripherals but not for $ difference.MrAbominable
- Remember to consider the gfx card with the new Retina iMacs - they are horseshit and will only be worse driving a 4K display.face_melter
- f_m, are you saying that the older machines had a problem? or that the new gfx card is bad?MrAbominable
- ernexbcn0
Whatever you do, don't buy an iMac with a 5400rpm disk drive, yes, they are still selling a model at least with those drives.
- true, get the upgrade to the hybrid disk (they call it fusion drive).uan
- good note. thanks.MrAbominable
- MrAbominable0
massive difference between 7200 drives and Fusion drives?
(thanks all for feedback above^)
- uan0
- that certainly answers that. in vivid testimony. thanks uan!MrAbominable
- 1st world problems.fadein11
- no problem. fusion (hybrid) has a caching ssd before a big hdd for big amounts of data, so most of the time you get ssd speed with it.uan
- Its all about m2 and PCIe these days. SSDs are slow.deathboy
- set0
- nobody blinked an eye when apple copied htc...GeorgesII
- actually, all humanz on Earth blinked their eyes many times. We have no choice, otherwise they get dry and it hurt.Ben99
- benfal of the dayset
- I remember people, even myself, pointing out how the iPhone 6 looked exactly like this.monospaced
- GeorgesII-6
coz it's friday :)
--
I am Mr Allen Everton, BSc, MBA. I do not ask for your pity, nor your forgiveness. I only ask that you understand:
On June 29, 2007, we released the first Apple iPhone. It was, as you all know, an overnight sensation that revolutionised the cellphone market forever. It changed the way humans communicate. What we created was nothing less than a modern marvel.As the lead product designer of the original iPhone, I was happy to take part in the triumph of innovation that we had given the world. The launch party was probably the best moment of my professional career. Apart from the birth of my daughter, it was undeniably the best day of my life. I revelled in the adoration of my peers, they toasted me and sang my praises. We drank champagne from the bottle and danced into the night. A very drunk Steve Jobs called me "The smartest motherfucker in the whole fucking city". No-one believes me when I tell them that, but it's 100% true.
My work on the orginal iPhone got me a seat on the board of Apple Inc. There, Steve put me in charge of overseeing the development of the iPhone 3G. If the original iPhone was my magnus opus, the iPhone 3G would be the exact opposite. Except that would be understating it. The iPhone 3G was not only the worst thing I ever did, it is the worst thing anyone ever created in the entire history of humanity. It is my great shame that I never told you this, but here is my story: With the incredible success of the original model there was immense public demand for a newer and better model. Of course there was, there always is. And the Board wanted nothing more than to fulfill that demand. There was a huge amount of pressure on us to release something with serious product feature upgrade, in a very short amount of time.
It wasn't easy, we had to put in some massive nights working on it, developing and tweaking, eeking out as much performance from the device as was possible. The team around me was fantastic, full credit to them for the amazing work they did. We released it on July 11, 2008, and once again it was a huge commercial success, selling millions worldwise in just the first week. By all practical measures, the iPhone 3G was a resounding success.
But there was something bugging me. Some of the data transfer just wasn't as fast as it was meant to be. After a couple weeks of it being on the market, this became abundantly clear. Specifically, photo files sent via mobile internet to other iPhone devices were transferring about 8% slower than they should be. All of our research, all the math said that it should be faster. We tried looking at our compression systems, at our upload speeds, perhaps the battery was less powerful than we previously thought. Nothing could explain it.
I went to Steve with my dilemna. I wasn't sure if he would give a shit, because the issue was not affecting the sales of the devices, and even the harshest critics couldn't tell the difference between the actual speed and what it was meant to be. But I underestimated him. Like anyone that has been as successful as him, Steve Jobs had an all-encompassing hatred of failure, in any form. The fact that we were underperforming, even by the smallest margins, drove him crazy. Together we looked at all the possible scenarios, anything that could have anything to do with that missing 8% data transfer speed. He put his best men on it, dedicating an entire department of 50 engineers solely to working out the cause of this loss. He commissioned university professors to run studies on the capabilities of 3G networks. He ran investigations into whether anything could possibly be choking the airwaves, something we hadn't anticipated that could already be on the networks.
For 6 months I dedicated my life to working out what was happening. It was infuriating not knowing where we went wrong. After months of work with no breakthrough, we began to fear we would never know what went wrong. But then something happened which changed everything. I was contacted by a postgraduate electrical engineering student at the University of Delaware by the name of Devin Chuah who had stumbled onto something. He had run a macro-analysis of the data tranfer from thousands of different locations, trying to work out if the speed varied depending what cell tower it bounced off. Everywhere the test was run returned the exact same result, it was always 8% slower than our math had told is it should be. But there were certain ares where, by just a fraction of a percentage point, the transfer was even slower, no matter what was sent or whom it was sent to.This was the first breakthrough we had had in months, so naturally we threw money at him. We had him hire an entire team and run the test from millions of different locations throughout the continental United States. The results that came back were astounding. The data transfer was consistently, across the board, a fraction of a point slower when both the phones, and the cell towers, were within a short distance of Hospitals, Morgues, and Cemetaries. This made no sense to me at all, so I ask him, what would possibly explain this phenomenom? When he told me his answer, it was like the ground had been pulled from under me. "Sir, I believe we have disovered what was slowing down your data. There was already something on the network. And I think it could be... souls" Of course, I couldn't just accept this on it's face, so I had Devin partner with a Noetic Scientist at MIT by the name of Professor David Gordon to study how it was that there was something else on our network at the same frequency slowing us down. Part of that study involved them going to the Central African Republic and building the first 3G network there, so as to compare the effects of this phenomenom in a country where 3G was not currently popularised.
They came back with incredible results. They had discovered "something" - it wasn't a particle, and it wasnt a radio signal, so they couldn't really put into words what it was, so they just called it "something". Whatever "something" was, it apparently moved or operated on a coincidentally similar form of communication to the iPhone 3G and most other modern smartphones. Because it was on our frequency, it was slowing down our data tranfer. But the most haunting discovery was the effect our phones were having on it. When they had set up their system in Africa, the speed of the data transfer varied. When it was operating in America, it was always a consistent 8% slower. There was a lot more evidence which built up the case, but that was the smoking gun. I couldn't deny it anymore. I was terrified to tell Steve the answer, for fear that he would accuse me of making a mockery of his company. But I knew I had to say something.
I presented to Steve Jobs in his office, one on one. I prefaced it by telling him that, as absurd as it sounded I promised I was telling the truth. Then it all spilled out of me. We had discovered empirical evidence of the human soul. Souls had a intricate system of trasferring out of dying bodies, they leave the body and connect to a network which, by pure coincidence, was formatted extremely similarly to the one that we used to transfer files between iPhones. The soul then appears to make a number of rapid and erratic movements around the earth, we suspected it may be making contact with family members. Then, after it has completed it's course, the soul dissappears. Presumably to the an afterlife, possibly it finds a new host. This theory had held up in Africa. But in America we were increasingly seeing this system being thwarted. Souls were being trapped in a meaningless loop, thrown off their task by random transfers of cellphone data, causing them to become lost and abandon their task. Millions of souls were now stuck in our system and not disappearing the way they were meant to. We had created a modern day purgatory where no souls could ever leave Earth, forever being bounced around by random dick pics and instagram lunches.
Steve looked at me. When I say 'looked', I mean stared. Deeply, menacingly, sliently. I saw him mulling over what I had just said. At first I was afraid that he would throw me out of his office and his company. Then I began to realise that the expression on his face was much more sinister, and much more terrified than I had previously thought. This was not a matter of being fired. This was much, much worse. He must have stayed there, silently still for a good 10 minutes before he spoke.
"How many people know about this?"
"Just myself, Devin, Professor Gordon, and you, sir"
"Good. Lets have it stay that way. Do not repeat this to anyone. You may go"And that was it, I left his office and went home. I had told Steve, that was my job, the whole thing was out of my hands. It was his responsibility now. I might just retire and take a nice long holiday with the wife to the Greek Islands. The next day there was $600 Million in my bank account, and both Devin and Professor Gordon were dead.
I understood the message. I was to say nothing. This was hush money, but it was also a threat and a show of power. If I said a word of this to anyone, Steve Jobs would never be able to sell another iPhone. I don't care how principled you are, when a man like Steve Jobs wants something and is willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen, you don't stand up against him.
This has been my great shame for these past 10 years. I stayed silent. I allowed the iPhones to keep operating. Millions and Millions of souls now have been forever seperated from their God. They will never reach heaven. My priest when I was a child once told me that hell is by definition a permanent speration from God's love. By that interpretation I am the devil.Please, forget me. I am not one who deserves to be remembered. Do not hold a funeral, leave me in an unmarked grave, and move on.
Isaiah 59:2: But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, And your sins have hidden His face from you so that He does not hear.
- too long did not readernexbcn
- It's a good read.O0O0O0
- ^
why am I talking to myself againGeorgesII - Becase I am the only friend I have.O0O0O0
- Then he looked at his kingdom, he was finally there. To sit on his throne as the prince of Mac Air.face_melter
- ^
lol, that would have been a good endingGeorgesII - is this from r/nosleep?mekk
- Fuck, I accidently read all that. Nice one Georges.Ianbolton
- this is hilariousmonospaced
- reddit post says it's some guy's uncle's suicide notemonospaced
- @mekk, yep nosleep, read it on the shitter this morning, if you want some other nice one, check r/writingpromptsGeorgesII
- Tell me you wrote this on a iPhone while bouncing along on the bus to work....see_thru
- psssh there's no such thing as a soul.garbage
- utopian0
Apple is more dependent on China than ever
https://finance.yahoo.com/news/a…- The article actually goes on and on about how good the sales there are and how their economy has had little effect on this new market.monospaced
- exactly.utopian
- instrmntl0
Apple employs 40 thousand people in Cupertino/Sunnyvale. That blows my mind.
- building another fancy building, too. These tech companies will be the new showcase for cutting edge architecture (I hope), taking the place of museumsformed
- on second thought, they are all to profit driven to invest in much beyond pretty warehouses/office buildingsformed
- These kind of moves reek of failure.monospaced
- Building empty warehouses and office buildings and doing nothing. That's how to drive profit. They really should invest in R&D, not spaceship campuses!monospaced
- I'm with mono...utopian
- New office buildings take on high(er)-tech trappings - climate control, energy consumption etc. but are wrapped in the most flaccid design imaginable.face_melter
- Only a few such as Google, Apple etc. can afford the shiny design *and* the tech that goes with it. Clients hate spending money on flash.face_melter
- Apple has tons of offices scattered throughout Cupertino and Sunnyvale. Its a way to consolidate the company.instrmntl
- utopian0
Steve Jobs didn’t build that: The truth about the Mac empire you won’t learn from his biopic.
- that steve didn't build the internet? mind blowing.doesnotexist
- utopian1
Apple's latest innovation...3D Touch, really?
- Don't think i've used it oncefyoucher1
- i haven't either but i bet the kids will learn it quickhotroddy
- https://uproxx.files…iCanHazQBN
- heard it's actually really good. Apple seems to do nothing but irritate you utopian.inteliboy
- << wow someone using an apple product and saying it's really good, never heard that before...georgesIII
- not used it at all.... Also apple don't want anyone to develop scales apps using the 3D touch functionality.ShaneHolley
- LOL @ Apple using a traditional web pop-up menu and calling it 3D Touchutopian
- Just stand on your phone to determine your body fat percentage!Weyland
- georgesIII0
so brutal, yet so true
---''sing a throwaway because I'm probably gonna get butchered for this. But whatever, how many fucks can one man spare. How many fucks can one man give before he has had enough.
Tim Cook is one greedy mofo. On a scale of an A through F, I'd give you a solid C-. And that's being really generous (unlike you, you son of a bitch).
Let's not even talk about how the polish of OS X and iOS has gone down over time. Let's not even talk about the bugs in every release, how every update leads people in with the constant hope of "this is the one, this the one which will make your device run like new". Oh man, let's fucking update. Oh wait, this shit isn't what they promised. Nah, let's not talk about any of that. Because that's not gonna change, is it? Planned obsolescence is the name of the game. Fuck your old customers without any lube, that's how we roll, am I right?Instead, let's talk your constant unwillingness to give a single fuck about your customers and your willingness to always give a fuck when your stinginess comes into play. You deny staingate on the MacBook Pro line up until the very end when you feel your pockets are threatened by a consumer lawsuit. Hell even Steve held a fucking press conference for antenna-gate while you highfived Jony on sales while iPhone 6's were being bent, many with no fault of the consumer.
16 GB of storage on a flagship phone which is supposed to last into 2016. And that sneaky little fuck Phil Schiller just jumps over it with the words "great customer experience" and "5GB iButt Storage" - Phil, I'd bet you any amount of money that you've personally never used the 16 GB device a single day of your life, and neither has anyone in your upper management, otherwise, you'd fucking know how much of a pain in the ass it is to work with the actual 12GB of storage so many of your customers put up with. One might think Jony would put some sense into Cook, but he's kinda busy working in the iPhone Thinness Lab, making the next iPhone thinner - that's all Jony is good for now (let's put the lack of even the simplest of design insights like a dark mode aside from the bright empty mess that was and is iOS7+, as well as the atrocious "all day hurr durr" battery life you promote - or maybe even the half assed implementation of third party keyboards or your rigid adherence to UI that you won't let people customize).
You refused to add 2 GB of RAM until you absolutely had to, which deeply hurt the consumer experience on Safari and most other iOS apps. Your iPad "Pro", expected to compete with the Surface, comes with a base of 32GB of storage and with half of the functionality, and the "Apple Pencil" sticks out like a sore thumb when you want to charge it - let's not even talk about the ridiculous pricing on the keyboard. Spread out those apps guys, we're going full iOS productivity levels here - large empty spaces, 4x5 app grid on a 13 inch display, you know the drill.
We're not even close to done. It's 20-fucking-16 soon, and apparently, you can justify selling a 4k iMac machine with a 5400rpm HDD which would have probably been considered outdated even a decade ago - this is supposed to last people more than a year? A PROSUMER DESKTOP - is that what you call this? You can justify decreasing the base SSD storage for the fusion drives for no good reason (except money, of course). You make your iMacs thinner for no reason (a desktop machine that's not supposed to be portable) while taking away features that people actually need.- people have complained about these exact same things with Apple since the 80'sinteliboy
- mehhpango
- Yep - so true unfortunately. But a few voices of dissent won't stop the sheeple flocking to them like flies on shit.fadein11
- a few voices? the internet is an echo chamber of apple haters.inteliboy
- ha - true. I hate their marketing, not their products mainly anyway (although only use their computers)fadein11
- look I've been using McIntosh product since the old century and have seen the descent of it, if producing phones is what they are aiming for, the critics areGeorgesII
- valid if you use their products in a productive way, I've own every flavor of windows machine too and the shit apple is getting is totally tamed compare to whatGeorgesII
- MS was getting back in the days, fuck it, if you can not even point the glaring problem without being called a haterGeorgesII
- The guy deliberately chooses a 16GB iPhone to be able to complain about it?raf
- ^
I think you have a reading comprehension problem, he's saying it's ridiculous in 2015 to give only 16gb of space on a so called premium phone.GeorgesII - Really. It's not like you can't get a phone with 128 gigabytes if you want. I got 64 and that's fine.CyBrainX
- The complaints about OSX have been the same. I've never had significant problems. Microsoft has.CyBrainX
- What? Monospace hasn't commented yet? Any second now...formed
- @cybrainx - that's the point - they are heading dow that road with shoddy os updates etc.fadein11
- https://s-media-cach…pango
- More Apple users than ever before. More complaints. All kind of makes sense I guess. People are dicks!Ianbolton
- ernexbcn3
- apple the only brand that equates criticism to hate, sighGeorgesII
- And appreciation to rabid fanboyismmonospaced
- aren't you supposed to be honeymooning man, go AWAYYYY :)georgesIII
