girlfriend not supportive?
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- alouette0
the girl who truly loves you would support your dreams
- ETM0
Ultimately, I suspect you already had a foot out the door if you are looking for advice on QBN rather than talking it over with friends and family.
- cannonball19780
tell her to get off her waitress ass and go to gradschool with you.
- sea_sea0
as hard as it is, you have to go to school. this will benefit you both in the long run won't it? or why would you be concidering it??
i can see how she can be scared to lose you, that's it. she doesn't want to lose you. that's were the "engagement" issue comes to play. but really say you leave go to school and then what? so your engaged, do you plan a wedding? for some reason just doesn't make sense. like marriage solves problems? yeah right.
change is difficult for everyone involved. and at this point nothing you can say will reassure her. because all she want to here is "I'm not going" or "i found a closer school".
good luck hijo. ;)
- lowimpakt0
since when was paying tons of money for school a dream?
move to paris with her.
- pr20
what was here dream before kids showed up? is she still somehow trying to pursue those dreams waitressing to support the family?
- dMullins0
I don't think I could be with someone who used being married as an excuse to delay my progress in life. The same progress in life that puts food on the table for her little children that someone else left behind after they left this obviously crazy woman.
- mcmillions0
aside from the questionable validity of going to grad school, it sounds like she's expecting things from you that a wife would expect from her husband (and father of her children). keep in mind, you don't feel like your relationship together is at the "marriage" level—that being said, i feel like you should understand that her reaction is a little selfish.
then again, i know love means rose-colored glasses 24/7, so it's hard to take an objective look at the situation.
- Hombre_Lobo0
im not qualified to offer relationship advice, thats a mega difficult decision.
Are you sure grad school would benefit you and is it worth $60,000? i mean would you be able to charge more due to your extra education, or is it more for self improvement and the quality of the work you will output.
best of luck HijoDMaite.
- shellie0
First, I'm going to assume you guys live together because if you don't -- she's pressuring you to take some really big steps.
I don't know about the whole having children situation because I don't have any. But, I do have a close friend who's a single mom and she just broke up with her boyfriend that's been around her son for a few years now. I see how that effected the family. I think it's a good thing she ended it sooner rather than later so her son can hurry up and move on, too. In my opinion, if you're dating a single mom and you're in a serious relationship with her and her kids, it seems to me that you owe something to the family by not jerking them around the country. You chose to be with them didn't you? It'd be a different conversation I suppose if you were relocating her and her kids to New York, and you were going to be taking care of her transition, schools for the kids, etc. YOu know kind of being the man of the house.
On the other hand, my boyfriend chose a very risky line of work, career and aspirations. I knew that when we met 5 years ago. So, we're still happy in that risk together. If I decide to do something that takes us somewhere else now, he kind of owes it to me to be flexible. But, that flexibility and "live on a whim" sensibility is pretty much the glue of our relationship and has been since day one.
Now, I wonder what everyone else wrote... (reading back now).
- I respect this. you are right I chose to be with her and this includes her children. All I'm asking for is a little flexibilityHijoDMaite
- in case I get accepted to Columbia.HijoDMaite
- If you want her to move with you, and she has a kid, I think it's fair to ask for marriage. Thats a big life change for her + baby.shellie
- her kid you know? I kind of see where she's coming from. shes saying piss or get off the pot, if you want her to be down.shellie
- zenmasterfoo had the best advice btw.shellie
- HijoDMaite0
This thread is getting more cynical by the hour. Thanks for all your advice everyone. I'm purchasing 1 round trip ticket to NYC for Dec 12th through the 16th to check out the city and the school.
- Good idea, one step at a time. See how she reacts to that, it'll tell you a lot.zarkonite
- spot130
Listen "mother fucker", you obviously didn't expect her to come with you or you would have bought four tickets? So, say you'll be friends and head for the apple! *my 2 cents
- syst_m0
Do you live together? no
You don't really even know someone until you've lived with them. And in your case her 2 kids also.
- capn_ron0
read the first post of this topic. it says a lot about someone who supports the one they love.
- mikotondria30
I'm lucky enough to know what love is, and it isn't trying to get your boyfriend, with whom you don't live or have any children, to not go to a great school to follow their dreams. You're not responsible for the bad lucj that means she's not in a position to either have a full say on it, or go with you. You should go, your life will only fill with more responsibility at this point whatever path you take. Opportunities thin out and realizing this can poison a relationship if it has unwarrentedly take precidence over your life.
If you really loved this girl enough it wouldn't be an issue - you just wouldn't consider it, let alone post it on here.
- camer0
Pass her the link to this topic and your problem is solved.
- Frosty_spl0
Why would you date a waitress with 2 kids in the first place? Fuckbuddy maybe, relationship, hell no.
- Love happens.HijoDMaite
- waitress, WTF????
GET OUT NOW, while you still cananimatedgif