Don't Shit Your Pants
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- Al_dizzle
This might be timeline but it's pretty awesome still.
Dont shit your pants: The horror survival game.
- duhsign0
too late
- 74LEO0
I shit my pants tons of times. mostly trying to unlock my apartment door to get to the toilet. You cant run and hold your shit in at the same time.
Enjoy it! Shit your pants then walk your lumpy ass to the bathroom. It sucks when your wearing boxers then you know its hitting ankle.
Fuck I have sooo many shit the pants, shit the bed stories.
- ifeltdave0
I shit my pants once at a hollywood video. I left my boxers in the parking lot.
- 74LEO0
Am I the only person that won't drop a deuce at work?
- I wish I had the choice to control it.stoplying
- my fav part of the day at work...duhsign
- lolRamanisky2
- does it give you anxiety or something?scarabin
- leo, this may explain why you have so many "shit on yourself" stories, haha.showpony
- I'm with you leo, I keep to my own thronejoshtrix
- yeah need my own hopper. sucks on fridays cause i gotto go home first then happy hour.74LEO
- Ramanisky20
2 days ago ... I'm laying in bed, in the process of awakedness.. just laying there hitting the snooze button when all of the sudden one huge sneeze came over and at the same time a huge fart came out too... I thought I blew out my Oh-ring and shit my boxers. it actually really hurt my ass .. I had no sphincter control. But thank god I didn't shit myself.
- careful, you can give yourself a hemorroid doing that. They never fully repair either.mikotondria3
- kona0
ps. my god what has this thread turned into?!? qbners sharing their shit the pants stories?!? wow, we truly are friends. :)
- I was just about to say stop trying to hijack this thread.. video game? what video game?Ramanisky2
- hahaha2
- bulletfactory0
...oh, I have stories. I'll tell you guys in person next time we're at the Park Bar.
- mikotondria30
ok then: Nearly but not quite.
Anyone who has been a boy scout or a cub is familiar with the end circle where Akela conducts the little ceremony and the scouts all stand in a circle and chant like "Akela, we WILL do our best", and so on.
My first night at cubs in 1979 I'd been busting for a pee all night, but couldn't see a bathroom anywhere and was, to be honest, too scared of the scout leader to ask where it was. Silly I know, but she was really quite formidable and I was new and didn't know the protocol and didn't want to look stupid.
So the final circle thing's happening, and it was all I could possibly think about, stopping myself pissing myself, it was a nightmare. I guess my bladder was listening too, and misinterpreted the ceremony because during a really quiet bit - it might even have a prayer, and with the rest of the troop watching, my bladder let go and volumes of hot golden piss erupted from the bottom of my shorts and splashed down my leg. With an audible splash and clatter mind you, into my shoes and out the top to form an ever-widening dark pool of piss on the dry wooden floor. The ceremony continued with everybody watching this pool spread out, me glowing red with embarrassment. It ended and everyone turned and gathered their things.
No one said anything to me and I slunk out of the door into the night and into my dad's van, covering myself with my coat, not saying anything.
Oh god, it was hideous and I never got over it.
Now my 9 year old daughter and I laugh about the story, and sometimes she tells it to people we meet and honestly it's hilarious.
- DaveO0
^
A mate of mine fell asleep pissed himself at a house party of mine after one too many beers and bumps, then was walking around for a good hour none the wiser. He was wearing kakis too.
- omg0
- elahon0
In the third grade, I was the "boy who cried bathroom". I would ask to go to the bathroom every 30 mins or so whether I had to go or not. Well, the teacher had had enough.
I had to take a MONSTER shit one morning. I hadn't pooped since the previous morning before school, and I could tell this was a beast. I raise my hand asking to go to the bathroom, and she says no. 10 minutes later I ask again, she says no. This goes on for about 30 mins, and at last I am sweating, pleading to go to the bathroom. "NO!"
So sitting there in class, not able to hold it in any longer, I just relax and shit my pants. It was a monster indeed, I felt like one buttcheek was sitting on a book, slightly lopsided. As the smell begins to spread, everyone's sneaking looks around at eachother and I hear whispers of "Ohhhhhhh, who farted??". I am staring straight ahead like a statue.
Recess comes around and I waddle my ass down to the principals office with stink-waves of shit emenating off of me, to tell her that I pooped myself and that she had to call my mom to come and get me. I think she just threw the underpants in the trash.- that was a fuckin' awesome story.omg
- yes.
Brilliant.mikotondria3 - i'm in tears dude. "felt like one buttcheek was sitting on a book..." hahaha!kona
- ...Or she is a stinky pant collector. Yup! you cant tense up and run at the same time.74LEO
- TheeOtherJuan0
Wow just got back from the bathroom, at work btw, and god dam, I just gave birth to the longest turd ever. Soo long it broke into THREE PEICES.
/end of my TRUE story.
- I'm nearly 40, and I can pinch off a 18" or 20" turd no problem. As full and thick as if I was 10.mikotondria3
- This thread has gone to a whole nothuh level.74LEO
- lowimpakt0
sublime