40min to kill
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- cannonball1978
Drinkin a cold one in downtown sf bar anyone got any good jokes?
- janne760
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes, the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, father, what causes arthritis?"
"Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man."
"Well I'll be." the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long did you have arthritis?"
"I don't have it father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
- janne760
Two men walked into a bar.
You would think at least one of them would have ducked.
- janne760
I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double.
The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.
- janne760
A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, the radio, and even the accelerator," he cried out.
However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."
- deathboy0
What did the man say to his wife with one leg?
Hey peg.
- abettertomorrow0
Aaaaand that's a wrap, guys. Good 40 minutes right there!
-------THREAD ENDS -------
- janne760
the best one:
A motorway walks into a pub one day. He goes up to the bar and orders himself a drink. He just sits down when in walks a strip of tarmac.
The motorway sees the tarmac and starts to panic so he jumps over the bar and ducks down so it won't see him. The barman looks down at him and says, "What's the matter with you? Why are you hiding? You've got six lanes and two hard shoulders. Why are you frightened of a piece of tarmac?
The motorway replies, "You don't know him like I do. He's a cyclepath."
- bigtrick0
Knock knock.
Who's there?
To.
To who?
To whom.
- hahascarabin
- ha christ, i'm gonna use that onescarabin
- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!janne76
- BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAabettertomorrow
- cannonball19780
Thanks for the laughs. On anothr good note im soon to be a published poet (this phone brings me nothing but good news).
- CALLES0
you can probably kill a lot in 40 mins