Last night was a good night
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- ********
Saw De La Soul in concert. Proceeded to get shit faced the rest of the night, came very close to hooking up with up 3 different girls (2 of whom would have made it a threesome) but was too shit faced to close the deal(s) and my buddy was being a mother fucking cock block. Somehow lost all my keys (car key, condo key, condo building key card, work key, work key card), am currently homeless but at work, reeking of booze. Slept half the night on the fucking street like a bum.... what do I do now?
Also, I'm absolutely fucking serious about all of this.
- ninjasavant0
whoa man, thats intense. where's your cock block friend? was he similarly shitfaced? Either way for preventing an otherwise bitchin night you should make him help you find your keys. I would say call out sick but that might be hard given your current situation.
If that doesn't work you can probably get a mormon to help you if you let them read you a passage of the book of mormon.
- ********0
yes, maybe i need to find jesus
or joseph smith
i hate cock blocks
- ********0
i still don't know what to do about the key situation though.... this is going to be tough
- If you wore jeans last night, try your fifth pocket. I slipped some keys in there once whilst shitfaced.waterhouse
- god that would be amazing********
- TheBlueOne0
I would march into the bosses office and say:
"Sir, last night was a good night. I saw De La Soul. Then I proceeded to get shitfaced. Almost had a multiple partner sexual encounter, but I was far too shitfaced to close the deal. Besides my friend was cock blocking me. I lost my keys, I stink and I reek of booze. I cuold sit at my desk passed out and you could pay me for it, or I could go home. You make the call. If you need me I'll be on the floor over there."
- If you're lucky, you're boss will tell you not to bother coming in any more!doctor_shim
- studderine0
you can take wordsinyourmouth out of college, but you can't take the college outta wordsinyourmouth
- very sadddd... but true********
- same here buddy, i stole that quote from you hahastudderine
- lol********
- very sadddd... but true
- ********0
hahahaha....
my boss is mormon fyi
- ********0
well the one in this office anyway
- studderine0
a friend of mine passed out on a pretty shady road in the bushes after a night of partyin'. i even offered to drive him home cuz i wasn't drinking that night.
- i have now joined that club, minus the shady area... i was just in the middle of downtown********
- i have now joined that club, minus the shady area... i was just in the middle of downtown
- studderine0
yea, you are in utah huh. mormons loooove booze
- studderine0
hows the nightlife there
- TheBlueOne0
..or open up the 'stormtrooper' thread and then pass out in front of your monitor.
- ********0
really i have no idea what to do about the key situation, i don't want to have to call my landlord, but i may be out of all other options.....
the good news: i still somehow have my credit card and driver's license
- Use the credit card to hire a locksmith and prove it's your place with the driver's license.TheBlueOne
- Problem solved. That'll be $300 in concultancy fees.TheBlueOne
- ffs********
- design_bitch0
haha...i'm still cracking up about this
- ********0
it's NOT funny! okay if it was one of my friends.... it would be hilarious
- ********0
telling the internet that you almost had a threesome is a sure fire way to have people not believe you.
- I believe you though.********
- unless you have pics.TheBlueOne
- ....TheBlueOne
- pics?TheBlueOne
- nope, sry..... too drunk to even think about it********
- I believe you though.
- ********0
ask design_bitch.. she saw it almost happen
- design_bitch0
sadly this is true
- ********0
I like homeless people, they make me smile.
- non0
Wow, how awesome.
- TheBlueOne0
Ha! I remember my first drink too...