My Work Ethic
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- SteveJobs
I work on the 5th floor of an old microchip plant turned cubicle farmhouse. there are only a few people that occupy this building as it's basically a storage facility for leftover contractors and employees who's job descriptions are obscure would be almost seemingly irrelivant if they didn't actually hold some practical function within the company. but i guess somebody has to churn out those weekly newsletters notifying the employees that the annual summer picnic is only a few weeks away - the same one that harold in the IT department always winds up making of fool of himself at. carousing and making obscene gestures at all the younger single female employees, which might be forgivable in his intoxicated state, if only his wife and kids weren't present.
Lately i've found myself doing extracirricular activities at work. My boss is rarely here, so i really don't have anyone to make sure my 'TPS reports' are getting filed by 'COB'. and it's pretty nice surfing CNN and Ebay at regular intervals without having to keep my fingers strategically placed over the ALT and TAB keys. but last week, my comfort in the lax environment took its toll. i really can't tell you what i was thinking. i like getting to work early so that i can make it home in time to run my errands before dinner. i'm pretty obsessive compulsive about time, so this works well for me. but getting to work at 6am is no small feat. generally, i'm a sleepy and incoherent in the early hours and not fully aware of my surroundings. well on this particular day, in my sleepy daze, i crawl into work and find a heap of papers filed neatly on my desk. delores probably put them there last night after i left. she still bitter about our one night stand, which is a story in itself, and usually tries to make my life miserable by having various tasks 'outside the scope of her job description' escelated to my department. the department that consists of a single employee... me. i picked up the stack of papers and began going through them, tallying up numbers and entering the data into a spreadsheet. as my work ethic waned and my desire for entertaining distractions increased, i opened a browser and checked my hotmail account, which is essentially where i keep the worlds largets collection of junk mail. offering everything from penis enhancements to copious amounts of money from kind nigerians who are willing to share their bounty because of some clerical error made by their bank. i was going through each item, laughing to myself at the hilarity of each piece when i come accross an ad that left me gasping. then i nearly fall out of my seat when i saw a porn ad that featured a model who was my ex girlfriend. in astonishment, i click on the link, and just then i feel an eerie dead silence over my left shoulder. the kind that can only be created by a massive object that dampens the surrouding whirring of cpu fans... it loomed over me for what seemed like an eternity. i suddenly felt sick to my stomach and nauseated as my heart beat to the rythym of the pumping action on my screen. i was frozen and couldn't move. all i could think of is how i was going to pay my rent, my car payment, how i would have trouble finding a new job. and as God is my witness, if things couldn't get worse, the fire alarm rang, with a pulsing buzz echoing through the halls. it got louder and louder until in a breif moment of peace i awoke to the sound of my alarm clock and realize that it was all a dream and reached over and hit the snooze button.
have a great weekend everyone!
- jevad0
Fantastic!!!
- _salisae_0
you definitely need this 3 day weekend
- |oo|0
sj = kj
- nick0
sj = kj
|oo|
(Jul 1 05, 12:07)nope
- |oo|0
jk :0
- C_ville0
can't wait for part deux:
the delores chronicles!
- Point50
whatever you say
- Visia0
excellent post.
Funny thing is. I'm pretty damn sure that I once saw my ex-girlfriend in porn. No kidding. No dream.
Anyway, that was an excellent short-story.
- pocho0
hey Visia...do you remember the title of the flick your chick was in?
- Visia0
lol, no sorry, it wasn't a film. It was just photos. I couldn't find it if I wanted to and I've got no interest in asking her either. But, I will say she's worth seeing. ;)
- johnjoe0
brilliant. excellent story.
- Point50
funny about the porn thing. last year a buddy of mine was dating a girl and after about 4 months he found out she was in porn. She was so hot; then I saw some of the video clips and freaked out. It just seemed so wrong. What I saw in those films just was not the nice girl I knew in person. It's almost like somebody flipped a swith on her back from "sweet" to "mega-filthy"
- ArtDirector0
You can never tell about a girls kinky side
- MrDinky0
i am very up tight at work
i wear a suit
- SteveJobs0
i'm back from my mini vacation.
thanks for comments. my two hours of boredom might have actually payed off last friday, but it's true...
i'm a lover, not a writer
one
- JazX0
you crack me up SteveJobs
- paraselene0
...is named georges.