Why would you ask?
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- shellie
This is sort of career/work related so, I don't feel like I'm totally posting off topic. But, maybe one of you have gone through this before:
I reconnected with an old crush from way back (14 years old). I found him on myspace and messaged him "You look sooooo familiar where do I know you." It turns out we worked together at a punk rock volunteer run venue for about 6 months in passing. I continued working there for 2 more years after that, and I remember being totally bummed when he stopped coming around. He was much older than me then (Back then, 6-7 years was a big difference.) so, we never dated or anything like that. However, he did mention he thought I was super cute. Score!
So, after exchanging a few messages it escalated to phone calls, and then a set up for a dinner date. Cool, I wasn't really expecting anything to come out of it, really. But, it would have been nice to reconnect with someone from the old days (who still happens to be extremely attractive) and catch up.
So last night we were supposed to go to dinner. And, he calls me (a little date which sort of tiffed me) and was like "So, what's up? How was your day, yadda yadda, what'd you do at work." Which was basically a "So, what do you do for a living now" question.
I know he went to long beach state and graduated with some sort of communications degree, traveled a bunch and had recently moved to LA. So, I figured it was probably for some sort of job. With these assumptions, I didn't think anything I would say would make him feel uncomfortable. I did a quick 2-3 minute rundown on what I had done for a day and what I'm up to now. Nothing too in depth, I hate to go on about work, especially if I don't know if the person I'm talking to really understands what it is exactly, anyway.
He goes on to tell me he works at Trader Joe's (A grocery store) and he's really unhappy with his current situation. I tell him, "That's cool. You gotta do what you gotta do to get on your feet and get doing what you really want to do." Then he's like, "I'll call you right back in a couple of minues, gotta go."
I got the vibe that he was embarrassed that I am so much younger than him and he hasn't really done much yet, especially having graduated from college and I never finished. As soon as we started talking about career, the tone changed completely.
Drive is the only thing that matters to me. My sister's husband worked in a grocery store when they met and now hes an LA City Fire Captain and living the life. I would have been down with meeting up reguardless of his career situation.
What gives? Why would you even ask if you're that uncomfortable with what you do? The question always comes back around your way, right?
Has that ever happened to any of you?
- susan-deaux0
If he was interested, and drive is the only thing that matters to you.
I would just imagine he saw/felt it in you (that is if you didn't tell him) and eventually asked about it.
- gruntt0
i haven't had a chance to read all of your post but... are you pregnant?
- shellie0
NO™
- brandelec0
Did he call back?
It's happened before and I wouldn't be surprised if a dude reacted that way. a few years ago, whenever i bumped into old friends, the 'what are you doing now' comes up and i proudly said 'i'm still a cook man', but now, like you said, the tone changes. humility has a huge value ya know
- gruntt0
jus picken'
;)
- shellie0
To be honest I probably wouldn't have talked about work at all.
We had plenty of other things to talk about and catch up on. But I didn't think saying I work at an Ad Agency would have been a big deal.
OH, also, he was like "where are you at right now" and I said "In santa monica. I would prefer to stay near the west side for the night, if possible" He lives in Highland Park (ghetto). That might have done it too.
I guess there's nothing I can do about his situation, or mine. But, is there any way to diffuse the situation so he feels more comfortable with developing a long lost friendship? I NEVER remember him being this way.
- version30
he sounds insecure, don't waste your time shellie.
- brandelec0
getting together and talkin 'bout the good old days should be comfortable enough no?
may be there's something else going on he hasn't told you yet
OR he really likes you but he feels loserish
you guys need to get face to face, should smooth out some uncertainties
- todelete__20
i thought you were married shellie
- version30
shellie is my abusive wife
she makes me live in another state
- shellie0
It's some bullshit.
It's not a contest.
I really don't get it. Guys want girls to be self sufficient and have the ability to do their own thing and not bother them for money and support.
But, they also don't want women to do better than what theyre doing, because they lose all control.
You guys need to make up your minds! It's better now than ever before for women to have a fighting chance in the workplace. Carpe diem.
- gruntt0
he sounds a little insecure which my not be anything big. If I were him, and I felt insecure I bet a call from you, even after you know that I'm not "living the life," would be all it takes put me at ease.
I say just give him a call. Say you want to get together to talk about old times.
- gruntt0
shellie - you're generalizing.
- todelete__20
shellie are you married or not? i seem to remember you talking about an exotic wedding/honeymoon with your new husband.
- shellie0
Yup, v3 just keep sending the cheques.
- shellie0
geez K0na, mail.
- version30
shellie you're everything i want in a woman
mean spiteful driven judgemental successful etc etc
all i mean is there are guys out there that want that type of woman its just that the guys you seem to like dont seem to like that kind of women
good luck though
- shellie0
haha mean and spiteful.
whelp... yeah thats pretty there in a nutshell.
God, I'm not THAT mean. christ.
- version30
*licks stamp
*mails check
- grafholic0
shellie,
i don't know this dude and i'm not sure what was his intention to find out your occupation.
the most important issue, however, is whether he called you back or if you guys have talked since then.
don't question "why" too much..that won't get you anywhere and you won't get the question answered anyway. but if he calls you, if he still would like to go out with you, then you know that he just sees you as who you are and just want to hang out with you.
hope it makes sense..and don't beat yourself too much, if he doesn't call, then he probably has a small ego the size of coffee bean.